Shocker—Keanu Reeves is not the best of drivers, and now he’s being sued for it. I know, I know; it sounds impossible, but as E! Online reports:

A vengeful paparazzo has put The Devil’s Advocate star on the hot seat.

Keanu Reeves took the stand at his civil trial today and denied dinging a photographer with his car as he was trying to evade flashbulbs back in March 2007, allegedly leaving the photog with debilitating injuries.

Using his hands to illustrate the scene, the 44-year-old star testified that he inched his black 1996 Porsche 911 Cabrio forward slowly to prod the paparazzo in question, Alison Silva, to put down his camera and move away from the vehicle.

“Did you hit him?” Reeves was asked by his attorney, Alfred W. Gerisch.

“No,” the actor replied.

Reeves asserted his Porsche never touched Silva, insisting the camera man walked backwards, lost balance and tripped over his own feet.

“Are you sure of that?”

“Yes,” said Reeves, adding that the only contact between his car and the shutterbug was when Silva put his hand on the hood.

Silva sued the Speed star for unspecified damages stemming from “serious injuries” suffered to his left wrist, causing pain and suffering and severely limited his earnings capacity.

In his suit, Silva alleged Reeves was covering his face when he was behind the wheel and acted negligently when he pulled away from the curb.

I’m still not sure how dinging a paparazzo is grounds for a lawsuit instead of cause for a Congressional Medal of Honor, but then there’s a lot about the law I don’t understand. (For instance, driving without pants—when the hell did that become a misdemeanor?) But this should be an entertaining trial, if only for the testimony:

LAWYER: “Could you please state your name for the record?”

KEANU: ” … “

LAWYER: “Let the record show that defendant pointed to an image of himself on a tattered, yellowed newspaper ad for Little Buddha. Now, Mr. Reeves, can you tell the court what happened on the day in question?”

KEANU: “Can I have a Claritin?”

LAWYER: “Uh…???”

JUDGE: “I believe the defendant is asking for a clarification, counsel.”

LAWYER: “Very well, then. Can you tell me what happened on the day that the complainant alleges that you hit him with your car?”

KEANU: “Oh. Ummm….blueberries?”

LAWYER: (Rubs temples.) “Your honor, I would like to request a recess until defendant is able to properly answer the question.”

KEANU: “Whoa….”

Filed under: Gaming, Transportation

You know who Microsoft hates? No, not Apple. It really hates DHL. Apparently, the delivery service has hit the folks in Redmond where it hurts: in the Xbox. It seems that 21,600 consoles were totally messed over by “impact damage, wetting, pilfering and shortage” when one of the company’s freight trains derailed en route to Long Beach, California. The big M claims that DHL refuses to compensate for the lost goods, and has filed a complaint at a US District Court in Seattle, calling for $2 million in damages and stating that the shipper “negligently breached its duties as a common carrier, handler, bailee, warehouseman, agent, or in other capabilities.” Harsh words, but really, who’s to blame for this mess? Next time we suggest going with G.O.D.

[Thanks, Andrew S.]

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Filed under: Peripherals

Maybe it’s the ambiguity and possible masking of truth that just adds to the allure here, but whether it really lived or not, you now know what an Optimus Maximus looks like after an impromptu greeting with lukewarm java. Sir tema clearly states that the keyboard “survived” its first recorded coffee spill “thanks to the construction of the upper tray,” but judging by the looks of this thing… um, we’re not so sure. Oh, and he also mentions that spilling liquids on the ‘board is not only “stupid,” but it obviously voids any applicable warranties. Thanks for the memo.

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Filed under: Cellphones

Unless you hit the jackpot at an Apple Store, you aren’t apt to see this many iPhone 3Gs in one place without planning a meetup. As the story goes, one particular lady picked up one of Apple’s latest handsets, took it home and began checking things out. Curiously, a trio of images were already on the Camera Roll. Upon viewing them, she noticed two snaps overcome with blur and the one you see above — likely a rare look into an iPhone 3G factory. Not that we haven’t see Apple products give away their place of origin before, but still interesting nonetheless. Now, scurry along and check out your own roll to see if any hidden treasures are waiting.

[Via TUAW]

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Filed under: GPS

Sure, these in-car crash loggers are a dime a dozen these days, but Brickhouse Security is pushing its Car Camera Voyager Pro as better than those ho hum alternatives thanks to the inclusion of GPS. As with most of its highly functional rivals, this one also packs a G-sensor that detects when a vehicle has been slammed into, bumped or otherwise rocked in an unorthodox manner; after that, it captures the 10 seconds immediately prior to and the 30 seconds immediately following the incident. Of course, you’ll also be able to pinpoint your exact location thanks to the corresponding GPS information, which could certainly help you out when hunting down CCTV footage of the nut-job who rammed your whip and wheeled off to Wendy’s as if nothing happened. Hand over $449.95 now and expect it to arrive later next week.

[Thanks, Frank]

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Filed under: Laptops

It’s not like LG hasn’t had issues with its batteries before, and even after confirming that they were unquestionably safe just last week, the firm has suddenly removed its Z1-AE007 from the market after suspecting that faulty batteries may be included. Reportedly, one of said models “caught fire” in Seoul and presumably startled the graduate student who owned it, but a company spokesperson stopped short of proclaiming that a recall was in order. Furthermore, the individual noted that “the matter should be consulted with the battery maker,” essentially shoving every ounce of blame as far as humanly possible away from LG.

[Via FarEastGizmos]

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Filed under: GPS, Transportation

At first glance, we seriously assumed that we had mentioned this exact same story before. Turns out, one particular Maxi Haulage driver doesn’t tune into Engadget, as he pulled the exact same trick in (almost) the same circumstances. Reportedly, this timber haul was cut short as the driver followed his personal GPS system down a “farm lane” suitable only for (presumably small) tractors, and needless to say, the 45-foot vehicle has been wedged ever since. Additionally, the owner of the property is quite irate, as the mishap is forcing her to drive an extra two miles until rescue arrives. Still, the motorist did cruise right by a sign noting that the upcoming road was unfit for heavy goods vehicles, so at least the sat nav can’t take all of the blame this go ’round.

[Thanks, Carl H.]

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Filed under: GPS, Transportation

Once again proving that “people be stupid,” a Bedford Hills, New York man allowed his GPS to navigate him onto train tracks… while a train was approaching. Entering a long line of folks like Cherry Tree Guy and the Narrow Lane Invader, this mentat in question apparently followed directions to “turn right” onto a set of tracks, which he then inexplicably became stuck on. Upon noticing the speeding locomotive heading towards his car, the man jumped out of the vehicle and tried to warn the engineer by waving his arms frantically — to no avail. The train slammed into the truck at 60 MPH and pushed the vehicle more than 100-feet, damaging 250-feet of track. The man was unharmed, though we understand his ego has filed for divorce.

[Thanks, Dr. Mark]

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Filed under: Portable Audio, Portable Video

As the unfortunate trend continues, yet another kiddo has found their Christmas PMP replaced with something that’s, well, not a PMP. In today’s episode, we find a Washington, D.C. girl that unwrapped an iPod earlier this week and discovered that the only Apple product tucked within was the inner packaging. Instead, a clever note was stashed inside (presumably with a paperweight of some sort) that read: “Reclaim your mind from the media shackles. Read a book and resurrect yourself. To claim your capitalistic garbage go to your nearest Apple store.” Oh, and just in case you really needed more than one guess as to where this thing came from, here’s a hint: it was sold by the same retailer who passed on Wii demo units due to “safety” concerns.

[Via TUAW]

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Filed under: Cellphones

In one of the more bizarre turns we’ve seen stories take, new information has come to light in the recent exploding battery death we reported on. It turns out that the LG battery which had initially been blamed for the “accident” wasn’t the cause at all, rather, a co-worker of the victim has admitted to hitting the man with a 15-ton hydraulic rig while driving in reverse, and has been charged with manslaughter. Kwon Young-sup, who had originally reported that he had heard an explosion and discovered the man’s body, has now told police that he invented the story as a cover-up for an accident. So, you can now return to placing calls on your LG without fear — but watch your back on the job-site.

[Via Sky News, thanks Barry T, image courtesy of Yonhap News]

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!

Filed under: Cellphones

South Korea, which has already seen two people supposedly struck by lightening drawn to their cellphones, has now experienced its first death due to an exploding handset battery. According to the AP, a quarry worker was found dead Wednesday with the remnants of an LG mobile melted into his shirt pocket, much like the welder who died under similar tragic circumstances this summer in China. For its part, while acknowledging that one of its phones was indeed the culprit, LG reportedly claimed that dying due to such an accident was “virtually impossible.”

[Image courtesy of Yonhap News, thanks to everyone who sent this in]

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!

Filed under: GPS, Transportation

We tend to shed a tear or two for humanity each time one of these stories crosses our radar, and unfortunately, this one had us bawling. Apparently, residents in Llangadog have been frustrated time and time again as drivers of large trucks came rumbling through blindly following directions spat out by navigation systems. Wide vehicles have now failed to successfully traverse a very narrow road and not destroy any property in the process not once, not even twice, but three times, leaving a previously restored building in the community damaged (thrice) by recklessness. Reportedly, around £1.5 million ($3.12 million) is being spent to beautify landmark properties in Llangadog and Llandovery, but there’s mounting concern that GPS-reliant motorists could reverse any progress by striking buildings as they attempt to squeeze through. It sounds as if signs are being erected to inform drivers of their navigator’s cluelessness, but who knows if folks will actually take their eyes off of the LCD long enough to notice.

[Thanks, Josh]

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!

Filed under: GPS, Transportation

Every few months, we happen upon yet another story involving a motorist who simply believes that their GPS system would never, ever lead them astray. This go ’round, a Czech lorry driver continued down an incredibly narrow lane at the request of his sat nav, and even though his ginormous camion was clearly too large to make it around the 90-degree turn, he threw common sense to the wind and continued onward. Needless to say, his ride ended up wedged so tightly he couldn’t reverse his way out, so he decided to set up shop for three whole days rather than calling for “an expensive weekend rescue.” Interestingly enough, the fellow managed to acquire food after befriending a couple that lived nearby, and while we’re sure he uttered Michael Scott’s words in a different tongue, we’ve little doubt that “the machine knows!” was heard by nearby wildlife shortly before this situation turned sour.

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!

Filed under: Transportation

We’ve definitely heard of cellphones causing certain keys to not work properly, but this story just takes the proverbial cake. For reasons unknown, a small family car left in a UK car park was found to be intermittently sending out signals which blocked over a dozen other key fobs from functioning. Reportedly, the vehicle’s owner was “unaware of the problems his car had been causing,” but the malicious whip had been setting off alarms and leaving motorists without a way to unlock and / or crank up their own rides. Interestingly, there’s no mention as to what exactly was wreaking all that havoc, but the owner of the ill-willed motorcar has reportedly promised to fix the issue (or call off the prank).

[Via TheRegister]

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!