Larry Birkhead, like any widowed father, wants to make sure daughter Dannielynn has something to remember her mother Anna Nicole Smith by. Unfortunately, this sentiment involves buying two pieces of lingerie that Anna Nicole wore during a Playboy shoot. Did I mention one of them was ridiculously stained? Because it is. It’s like you can see the memories. *sigh* The AP reports:

“I have a lot of history I have to put together that she doesn’t really know about,” Birkhead told The Associated Press. “Playboy was such a big part of Anna’s career.”
Birkhead bought a pink bustier for $1,800 and a white negligee for $1,000 at the auction, run by Julien’s Auctions and held at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino on the Las Vegas Strip.

A lot of people will say Dannielynn was doomed the day she was born to Anna Nicole. Or, depending on your religious beliefs, the day she was conceived by way of Jesus and a turkey baster. To each his own. But, as for me, I’m going to go ahead and say Dannielynn had a chance until the moment Larry Birkhead said “Oh my God, is that a stain? This is so going in your play room.”

Ashton Kutcher’s new show Pop Fiction is strikingly similar to an idea Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern pitched to E! programming execs back in 2004. So similar, in fact, that Anna Nicole is planning to sue from beyond the grave. TMZ reports:

Ashton’s show sounds like a carbon of Anna’s treatment — “…what happens if Anna Nicole Smith and other celebrities turn the tables and capitalize off of the overzealous media? What if the next big supposed scandal is not a scandal at all? What if everything is staged, but the media (and the public) don’t know it?” It continues, Anna Nicole and other celebrity guests take aim at the media and push all the limits.”

It’s news, and not to mention pictures, like this that make me wish Ashton Kutcher OD’d instead of Anna Nicole. One of them brought joy and happiness to the world with incredible product placement while the other is a complete douche-nozzle. For the record, these are photos of Anna Nicole on MTV Australia from 2005. They’re pretty random, to say the least, but I posted them anyway because I’m the Blogging Jesus. In the meantime, I’m not even going to comment on her mouth except to say the Joker really wants it back.

NOTE: That last bit had absolutely nothing to do with Heath Ledger. Despite my best efforts.

If you’ve studied the Kübler-Ross model at all (and who hasn’t?), you know that tragedy is typically dealt with in a multi-stage process known as the Five Stages of Grief, consisting of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The issue with this model, however, is that while it does well to describe most grieving, it completely omits the rare sixth stage–an exclusive to celebrity deaths: the low-budget biopic. How can we move on unless we’ve seen a condensed, over-dramatized portrayal of their life, played out by D-list actors on the budget of a compact car? Continue Reading »

Watch the Anna Nicole Smith biopic trailer here.

via Dlisted
The Anna Nicole story is “The Most Anticipated Motion Picture Of The Year”? Who the freak are they kidding. That movie looks like it is going straight to Skin-emax and not anywhere else. Willa Ford needs to stick Dancing with the Stars, oh wait that didn’t work out for her either.
BTW who else besides me will admit that they will wind up watching the movie when it comes out.

Dannielynn Smith is officially the heir of her late mother Anna Nicole Smith, according to a court ruling yesterday. Anna Nicole’s will had only listed her late son Daniel as a heir, but it also stated that her fortune should be divided equally between any other future children. The AP reports:

Dannielynn could inherit millions of dollars if the estate wins an ongoing court fight over the oil fortune of Smith’s late second husband, J. Howard Marshall. Smith at one point won a $474 million judgment but it was eventually reduced to zero. In 2006, the U.S. Supreme Court reinstated her claim, but Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote that Marshall didn’t include anything for Smith in his will.

It’s comforting to know that whether or not Dannielynn becomes the richest baby on two wheels, her daddy Larry Birkhead will always love her - by pimping her out for tabloid photo shoots so he never has to work again. Damn, that’s touching. It kind of makes me want to call my dad and tell him I love him. *yells upstairs* DAD! HEY, DAD! I LOVE YOU, MAN! MOVE OUT? HA! YOU OLD SOFTIE! GET DOWN HERE AND GIVE ME A HUG! Hey, Pop - wow, that’s a gun.

It seems like only yesterday Anna Nicole Smith died creating an insane media circus that would later be dwarved by the media Death Star known as Britney Spears. Anyway, on this one year anniversary of her death, let’s remember Anna Nicole Smith as the patriot she truly was. She defied modern convention by getting really, really enormous breast implants then bilked an old billionaire out of all his cash. Anna would later be found dead of a mysterious drug overdose that would make a young Sam Lutfi scratch his douche-beard and say “Huh. Now there’s an idea…” Rest in Peace, Anna Nicole. You’re truly missed.