Joe Francis continued his holy quest of everything good and righteous and nipplely by approaching model/reality star Brittny Gastineau last night outside of Crown Bar. I think I speak for all of us when I say “This man should be our president.” Not only would I campaign for Joe Francis, but I’d even consider putting on pants and going out to vote. Maybe. If there’s an Ice Road Truckers marathon on that day, I’m not making any promises. It’s trucks on ice, people!

EDIT: And, no, the irony that Brittny is standing on a street corner is not lost on me. Classy!

Kevin Federline apparently likes the name “Britney” no matter how it’s spelled. He was recently beguiled by the beauty of socialite Brittny Gastineau (above) whose greatest and sole accomplishment is coming out of a wealthy vagina. Page Six reports::

The famous ex of Britney Spears was at Coco de Ville in LA “staring at Brittny Gastineau while she was waiting in line for the bathroom,” said our spy. Federline, who has custody of his and Spears’ sons, “wouldn’t stop checking her out, up and down, but Brittny was not interested.”

Wait. Staring at a woman at the bar for uncomfortable lengths of time does not get you laid? Jesus, poor Kevin Federline must feel like his whole world is a lie. Next, you’re going to tell him wearing a ski mask and waiting for them in the parking lot isn’t “romantic.” *sigh* He’ll never figure girls out…