Cindy Crawford continues her vacation in France with husband Rande Gerber and special guest George Clooney. This time she’s partaking in some topless sunbathing and gravity has been ridiculously kind to Cindy. The last pair of 42-year-old breasts I saw belonged to The Geekologie Writer’s mom. She tripped on them on her way to the bed. True story.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW version that will make you cry if you’re a middle-aged woman, Richard Gere or all of the above.

Cindy Crawford got her bikini on while vacationing in France with husband Rande Gerber. Also on board was George Clooney which is a brave act on her husband’s part. Nothing like inviting the handsomest man in the world on your yacht to ogle your superfine wife. This probably won’t end well.

CINDY: Chin me. Chin me, George! Chin me like you mean it-
RANDE: Cindy! Wake up! You’re talking in your sleep again.
CINDY: Huh, what? Oh, wow, this is embarrassing.
RANDE: I knew this was a bad idea. Why’d you invite him anyway?
CINDY: I didn’t invite him.
RANDE: Neither did I. Then, what in the….

VOICE FROM THE CLOSET: Touch her boob.
RANDE: Who is that?
VOICE FROM THE CLOSET: Do naked stuff.
RANDE: (Opens closet door.) For the love of God, Clooney. Get out of there!
CLOONEY: Touch her boob.

Based on a true story.

Cindy Crawford attended the opening of the Hard Rock Hotel’s nightclub in San Diego. Will she ever stop looking awesome? Scientists in the future will probably dig up her body and start frantically searching for a miracle cure to reverse death. Sadly, a few days later they’ll discover Tara Reid’s corpse, immediately abandon their research and vow never to dig up another body again. Why do they keep doing that anyway? Is it boring in the future? Have strip clubs been outlawed? I could really use these answers before I freeze myself in my homemade cryo-chamber. Which is actually a bathtub filled with ice and, okay, beer. I hope my roommate wasn’t planning on taking a shower – for the next hundred years! Ha ha, just kidding. He totally won’t. That swampy bastard hates baths.

Cindy Crawford spent the holiday weekend in Maui with her family. For a 41-year-old woman, she looks pretty damn good. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I won’t make love to anything over the age of 25, but I’d probably make an exception for Cindy. Of course, she’d first have to tell me where she’s hidden the Fountain of Youth. You know, so I can dunk her in it a few times before the sexy stuff then smuggle the rest out in my canteen. I’m so dreamy.