Lindsay Lohan can’t seem to go anywhere without running into someone’s who’s visited La Crotcha de Fuego. Recently, she ran into three of her exes in one night at a West Hollywood club that Samantha Ronson was DJing at. InTouch reports:

“Lindsay chatted with her ex Harry Morton for a few minutes,” a witness explains about the first encounter. “Sam wasn’t thrilled.” Lindsay, 22, was there to support her live-in galpal, who was deejaying the event. But before the night was over, another of Lindsay’s exes, Calum Best, showed up, followed by former girlfriend Courtenay Semel. Although Lindsay’s rep says, “It wasn’t awkward for her to be with all of her exes,” a witness says, “That was definitely enough drama for Lindsay.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Lindsay could walk around blindfolded in a Nebraska corn field and still manage to bump into someone she’s had sex with. The only safe place for her is the moon. And even then…

Tila Tequila’s new girlfriend Courtenay Semel found herself in the drunk tank after getting in a fight with security outside a Vegas nightclub. Beforehand, she was having dinner with Kourtney Kardashian who was taping an episode of her reality show Keeping up with the Kardashians. So, for the five people who watch the show, you’re in for a night of drunklarity featuring Z-List celebrities. Huzzah! Page Six reports:

Later, Kardashian called it a night and Semel went out to Pure at Caesars with Vegas showman Jeff Beacher - and proceeded to “go nuts,” a spy said. “Courtenay got so drunk she was falling down. Security asked her to leave, but she refused.” Semel finally left, but on her way out there was an altercation with a security guard. “She was arrested and spent the night in jail,” a Semel pal confirmed. “And she lost her phone.”

Some people might be wondering, where was Tila? Oh, she was there alright, but, uh, how do I put this? You see, kids, Tila Tequila is very tiny which allows her to fit “places” that only Mommies and Daddies who love each other should go….

Tila Tequila allegedly has a new girlfriend. You might recognize her as Courtenay Semel who was once romantically linked to Lindsay Lohan. Fire crotch eating aside, she’s a goddamn hero: Tila will not be returning for a third season of MTV’s A Shot at Love thus sealing her fate in leprechaun obscurity. *sniff* It feels like Christmas. People reports:

A beaming Tequila told PEOPLE she “didn’t want to jinx anything” about their relationship, but said she was very happy.

Semel, however, happily shared her feelings for the MTV reality star. “I’d seen the show [A Shot at Love] and just needed to meet her…and it just happened,” Semel says of Tequila. Now the “best friends” are content to lay in bed watching movies, share clothes and makeup and steer clear of drama.

You know how I know this relationship is bullshit? Courtenay says they share each other clothes. Yeah, right. There’s only person in the world capable of swapping clothes with Tila Tequila. Unfortunately, I’m sworn to secrecy, but I’ll give you a hint: It’s Tom Cruise.