Sometimes dreams do come true. In this case, a really retarded one called “David Beckham: The Musical.” (Actually, it’s called “The Theater of Dreams,” but close enough.) Set to launch in London’s West Side, the production will basically portray David as the Jesus of soccer. I shit you not. The UK Telegraph reports:

“Beckham’s story is a modern-day fairytale of heroes, villains, love, Manchester United and what it means to lead your country,’’ explained Mark Archer, the songwriter behind this celebration of Beckham’s first 33 years. “His rise from obscurity to international stardom, his universally acknowledged gifts as a supreme sportsman, and his Hollywood lifestyle all have the elements of an aspirational fable.
“With football and celebrity now firmly established as new secular Western religions, The Theatre of Dreams is set within a cheering football stadium – the modern-day church. The music is powerful, gospel-like rock to establish clearly football and Manchester United as a religion.’’

David Beckham’s life is “a modern-day fairytale of heroes, villains, love, Manchester United and what it means to lead your country.” Uh, wow, that’s pretty epic for a guy who plays soccer and married a Spice Girl. Sure, he had sex with a bunch of women on the side, but have you seen some of them? It’d have been more epic if he banged a toaster.

Thanks to Ellie who prays every night that Victoria Beckham is cast as a soccer ball.

Spanish actress Ana Obregón hit the beach in Miami and it looks like she’s joined by Jack from Will & Grace. (Okay, not really.) David Beckham allegedly tapped Ana’s 56-year-old ass which earned her the nickname “Geriatric Barbie” from Victoria Beckham. Now before you say “Awww yeah” take a closer look. Once you finish chasing your eyes around the room, keep in mind David got with Ana back in 2005, so maybe time has been really, really cruel to her. In fact, some might say time pushed Ana down an elevator shaft then tossed in a grenade. Just for kicks.

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Despite Becks’ prior troubles with über-geeky car thieves, we’re fairly certain the LA Galaxy midfielder still has a soft spot in his heart for technology. And even if he doesn’t, we’re confident there’s a nook in there for precious metals. Reportedly, Mr. Beckham has been gifted with a gilded iPod touch (the top-end 32GB model, no less) by his English teammates after participating in his 100th appearance for the national club. Word on the street has it that the golden touch only set the squad back £600 ($1,188), which isn’t too shabby considering the £329 ($651) sticker on the vanilla version.

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Rebecca Loos is the alleged mistress of David Beckham while he lived in Madrid. She was his personal assistant that supposedly personally assisted him in the pants department for four months. These are some topless shots she recently took for News of the World in order to maintain some form of relevancy. Kudos, it worked. In the meantime, despite the breastyness, she’s not that amazingly attractive of a woman. Then again, if I was alone and the last person I had sex with was Victoria Beckham, I’d totally do that Rebecca chick. Or stick my penis in an electrical socket. Whatever. Either way, I come out ahead - like way ahead. Miles, if you will.

NOTE: First two pics are NSFW because of the aforementioned breastyness.

David Beckham has no problem being worshipped by women and guys. In fact, he welcomes it, according to Page Six:

“I’m very honored to have the tag of gay icon,” the LA Galaxy soccer star told BBC radio. In fact, the strapping athlete is so comfortable with his masculinity, he lets his wife dress him. “Without a doubt, Victoria has a huge part in the way I look these days.”

Somewhere Tom Cruise read this and did a jig on top of a pot of gold. He’s already forgotten about those pesky kids stealing his Lucky Charms.

David Beckham is quashing rumors that Tom Cruise is trying to convert him to Scientology. The two have been close friends since David and his wife Victoria Beckham moved to Los Angeles where Tom and Katie threw a lavish party upon their arrival. The Daily Mail reports:

“We respect their religion. We respect everything they do and believe in.
“But they have never turned around to us and said, ‘You have to be a part of this’, because that’s not what they’re about. It’s never been about that. “There’s been nothing shoved down our throats because friends don’t do things like that.”

One thing these two friends do like is practical jokes. I heard the other day that David Beckham was taking a shower, and, when he picked up a bottle of shampoo, Tom Cruise was behind it giggling like a schoolgirl! The two shared a laugh until Victoria got in the shower. Then Tom started crying and threw a pot of gold at her before disappearing in a “poof” of pixie dust. True story.

David Beckham’s soccer season ended on Sunday. He’s been pretty bummed that he hasn’t been able to play due to an injury. So guess who wants to cheer David up? His old buddy Tom Cruise. People reports:

“We will go out and fly some airplanes or race some cars or something like that,” Cruise told BBC Radio 5 Live as he hit the red carpet for the London Film Festival premiere of his new flick, Lions for Lambs, which opens Nov. 9.
Cruise, 45, admitted that any thrilling exploits would first have to get the go-ahead from Beckham’s wife.
“I’ll talk to Victoria and see if she’s all right with that. But we’ll have some fun.”

Tom’s got but nothing for love for David. Pure heterosexual love. I think:

“I know what a competitor he is and I have great admiration for him as an athlete, as a father, and as a husband,” he said. “The guy works so hard – I know personally how dedicated this guy is, and how committed.”

Nothing out of the ordinary here. Just two guys hanging out. Sure, maybe one’s a world-famous actor and the other’s a huge soccer star. And, yeah, maybe one of them wants to have butt sex at 30,000 feet. But, all that aside, it’s just two regular Joes racing cars and flying expensive jets – while possibly naked.

Forbes Magazine just released their Celebrity 100 list with the world’s most powerful celebs. They’ve added up annual salaries, web rank, PR rank and TV rank.

Last year Oprah Winfrey earned $260 million for the year! Prisoner Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears didn’t even make the list.

Here is the full list from Forbes: