Is it me or is The Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas always wearing a bikini? Some might call this trashy, but if you take note, ladies, she’s engaged. Now, I’m not suggesting the two are related - except I am and no one likes a spinster. So, house full of cats, or walking around in a bikini? While you think that one over, I’ll be on the roof with a lawn chair and binoculars to, um, watch birds. Yeah, what I just said.

Here’s pics of The Bachelorette star DeAnna Pappas in a bikini washing her car with fiancee Guy ThatShouldGetOutOfTheFreakingFrameSeriously. Is this really news? Is DeAnna Pappas even a celebrity? Are bikinis the answer to world peace? These questions and more that I probably won’t answer later today on The Superficial. Also, penis jokes! Stay tuned.

DeAnna Pappas is this season’s The Bachelorette and seeing her in a bikini almost makes me consider putting on a tux and competing for her hand in marriage. I mean, what do those other guys have besides looks, money and non-misogynistic world views? That’s for suckers. I’m willing to commit myself to one vagina in defiance of logic and nature for 40+ secretly unhappy, but it’s pretty much written on our faces especially after that time I got the clap from a stripper, years. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m an old romantic.