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O.J. Simpson is desperately angling to get himself on the next season of Donald Trump’s highly-rated The Celebrity Apprentice. But, get this, Orange Juice might actually pull it off. Page Six reports:

“Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious,” our source said. “There’s a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson.”

While having O.J. compete for the Donald’s approval will mean big ratings, it’s obvious the Juice deserves his own reality vehicle. Something classy. Like a VH1 dating show called Knife of Love. O.J. will find his soulmate amongst the contestants then, you know, murder her out back. Fortunately, it’s a scientific fact that the chicks on these shows are really hookers, so it’s basically a victimless crime and everyone wins. High five!

Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s business is booming. But this time not in her pantalones. Donald Trump has made an offer to Ashley for her to appear on a new untitled reality show set to air on MTV, according to People:

Based on a British show called Ladette to Lady, the show will take a group of 15 hard-partying young women and send them off to a boarding school environment where they’ll learn to become more ladylike.
“She’s the perfect candidate,” the show insider says of Dupré, the 22-year-old at the center of the Gov. Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. The show has not yet heard back from Dupré with any reaction to the offer.

Only in America can a hooker that caused the demise of a powerful political figure become a reality TV star. Somewhere in the afterlife, Ben Franklin is plowing a chick in a Viking helmet with tears in his eyes. Our little country is everything he dreamed it could be - which almost makes up for the lack of gravy in heaven. They don’t tell you that part in the Bible. Jerks.

So I have never seen any episodes of either Apprentice or Celebrity Apprentice, but after seeing the promo where they showed Piers Morgan and Vincent Pastore fighting, I had to check it out! And boy I am glad I did just for the way that showed The Big Pussy’s departure! Once the song started playing, I had a felling that was exactly where it was going, but it was so much better than I expected! Classic no!
And yes I added Celebrity Apprentice to my DVR!

Donald Trump wasn’t even in California the day a Santa Monica restaurant claims he left a $10,000 tip in order to outdo previous high-tipper producer Jerry Bruckheimer, according to Page Six:

“This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity,” he said. “. . . It’s not my signature.”

I guess this means Jerry Bruckheimer wins the “Whose dick is bigger?” contest by default. Apparently the Donald is comfortable with that. I wouldn’t be. I need to know everyday that my reproductive organs dwarf the man who brought us The Rock and Bad Boys. So that way, when my girlfriend asks if it’s in yet, I can respond, “Hey, you could be having sex with tiny Jerry Bruckheimer on top of a pile of cash.” Except when I tried that once, she said “Really?” and got dressed then left. I haven’t seen her since, but I hear she’s in a movie now. Not the response I was looking for which involved tears of repentance followed two minutes a vast eternity of pleasure later by a delicious sandwich.

Donald Trump left a $10,000 tip for a waiter at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. According to reader Leslie:

My friend Billy works at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. A couple days ago Donald Trump came in and left him a $10,000 tip! Wow! My friends think he’s just trying to promote his celebrity Apprentice but whatever. Billy told me Donald hardly even talked to him until the end when he asked, “What’s the biggest tip you ever got?” I guess Jerry Bruckheimer (sp?) comes in a lot and once tipped him $500 on a $1000 tab and Bill told him. Trump just wanted to show he’s got the biggest dick!

Usually when I want to prove I’ve got the biggest dick I just unleash the beast and pray to God whatever restaurant I’m in has a buffet table big enough for me to display it. But leaving an outlandish 10 grand tip works too, I suppose. If you’re a pussy.

Thanks to Leslie for the tip. You’re fired! Ha, isn’t that just like the show? Damn, I’m topical.

Forbes Magazine just released their Celebrity 100 list with the world’s most powerful celebs. They’ve added up annual salaries, web rank, PR rank and TV rank.

Last year Oprah Winfrey earned $260 million for the year! Prisoner Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears didn’t even make the list.

Here is the full list from Forbes: