Fabio seems to be enjoying his few moments of quasi-relevancy and is talking about his encounter with George Clooney at an L.A. restaurant a few weeks back. Fabio claims George is a “low-class scumbag” that picks on women which prompted the male model to take action, according to Ok! Magazine:

“He was drunk and thought people were taking pictures of him. So I went to the table and explained to him that we were having a charity dinner and I said, ‘You’re more than welcome to come to my table and see if there was a picture of you.’ I apologized and he started being rude so I put him in his place. After I put him in his place — you know I’m three times his size — he got a little scared. I went back to my table and as soon as I sit down he paid his bill, got up and he started insulting the girls. He called the women names. At that point I lost my temper. I went after him and he ran out of the restaurant…. You should be a gentleman. These women were with me and as a man I defend them. He was lucky he ran out of the restaurant. He’s not even half a man.”

While George Clooney might be a drunk that picks on chicks, at least he never did commercials for “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter.” If I was Fabio, I’d be embarrassed to show my perfectly sculpted body in public. Do you think he ever, I dunno, rubbed some of that not-butter on his chest? Maybe while he was at home, alone and feeling kind of curious. A, uh, friend wanted to know. A female friend. Yeah, with a vagina. Phew, totally dodged that bullet. I should be in The Matrix.

George Clooney and his girlfriend were out to eat in L.A. over the weekend and just happened to be seated next to Fabio and a group of women. Things were cool until one of Fabio’s friends started snapping pictures which seem to ruffle George Clooney’s feathers, according to Page Six:

According to numerous eyewitnesses, Clooney, assuming the woman was taking snaps of him, asked her to stop - prompting Fabio to explain that the shots were of his group, not Clooney, and to tell the superstar, “Stop being a diva.” Clooney started arguing back, and he and Fabio then got into a shoving match. “The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand,” a witness told In Touch.

“George was drinking . . . He wasn’t drunk, but he certainly wasn’t stone sober, either.” Fabio’s manager told the magazine, “George is lucky he didn’t end up in the ER.”

I wonder who would win in a fight between Fabio and George Clooney. On the one hand, Fabio is a pretty solid dude, but didn’t he get sucker punched by a bird once? Then there’s George Clooney. Not exactly a heavyweight but he’s pretty athletic. Also, he seems to have a drinking problem which gives him a distinct and awesome advantage in my book. Then there’s that chin. That wonderful, wonderful chin. “Give me a man with a solid chin over a muscle-bound brute any day,” I always say. I mean, in a, uh, totally heterosexual way. Women are awesome, yeah. I love them. Everyday. I sometimes make intercourse in the pelvis with them. Because I love them so much. The, uh, women. Save me with your magic, George Clooney’s chin!