Gary Coleman’s episode of Divorce Court aired today (video after the jump) and there’s nothing like seeing a giant redhead describe the child-like antics of Arnold Drummond. For those of you who missed Monday’s post, here’s how Gary’s wife Shannon describes his temper:

“If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does. He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.”

You know who else likes to headbutt? Amy Winehouse. I hear she’s getting a divorce, too. Maybe Amy and Gary can work some rebound magic which, according to legend, will unleash Armageddon. Woo-hoo! Bring on some Four Horsemen, baby!

UPDATE: Okay, my Wii started working again so I’m no longer bored. Can I, uh, get a rain check on that Apocalypse? There’s gotta be a reset button somewhere like the Pope’s butt crack or something. I dunno go way. Mario Karting. Turtle shells are cool!

Gary Coleman’s episode of Divorce Court aired today (video after the jump) and there’s nothing like seeing a giant redhead describe the child-like antics of Arnold Drummond. For those of you who missed Monday’s post, here’s how Gary’s wife Shannon describes his temper:

“If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does. He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.”

You know who else likes to headbutt? Amy Winehouse. I hear she’s getting a divorce, too. Maybe Amy and Gary can work some rebound magic which, according to legend, will unleash Armageddon. Woo-hoo! Bring on some Four Horsemen, baby!

UPDATE: Okay, my Wii started working again so I’m no longer bored. Can I, uh, get a rain check on that Apocalypse? There’s gotta be a reset button somewhere like the Pope’s butt crack or something. I dunno go way. Mario Karting. Turtle shells are cool!

This news hit late Friday but, as you guys already know, I mentally check out around noon on Wednesday: Anyhow, Gary Coleman and his 22-year-old bride Shannon Price are already on the outs. The couple will appear on an upcoming episode of Divorce Court set to air later this week, according to the AP:

“If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does,” Price says, according to a transcript of the show provided to The Associated Press. “He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.”

Okay, I don’t know about you guys, but that sounds FREAKING AWESOME! Ha ha, seriously, I want to adopt Gary Coleman. Who do I call to make that happen? Sally Strothers? Oprah? Or is this more Madonna’s bag?

Gary Coleman and his bride took their carnival act onto The Tyra Banks Show yesterday where conveniently comedian Steve Harvey was co-hosting. Tyra quizzed the new Mrs. Coleman about being with Gary, his virginal status and their age difference: she’s 22, he’s 40. You start to get the impression this chick just wants a whole bunch of attention. I’m, of course, talking about Tyra. For those of you who can’t watch the video, around the six minute mark she eats Gary Coleman then flies off-stage wearing a jetpack. True story.

Thanks to Trendy for the clip who knows what you’re talking ’bout, Willis.

Gary Coleman secretly wed a woman 18 years younger than him. The 40-year-old cowboy(?) married 22-year-old Shannon Price of Utah. Gary finally lost his virginity and claims to have found the woman with the right amount of looks and intelligence. Now he has someone to throw things at. Awww. Page Six reports:

Price said height wasn’t a consideration because, “He was 10 feet tall to me because he was sweet.” Still, the relationship isn’t without its problems. “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes,” Price admitted. “He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.”

I don’t see what the big problem is. Gary Coleman likes to throw shit. Sheesh, wear kneepads. Or do that move where you put your hand on his head and he frantically bats at the air. That’s the cornerstone to a good marriage. Or midget wrangling. Same thing. Now where’s my little Oompa Loompa bride? Hey, get out of the cookie jar! You know I hate footprints on my Chips Ahoy, woman.