These are shots of supermodel Gisele Bundchen filming a music video for Black Cowboy yesterday. Kevin Connolly from Entourage directed the shoot which took place on Melrose Ave., and I gotta say, I have my concerns. I’m no expert, but this thing seems to be missing several key components for a successful music video: Nudity, robots and Slash playing guitar while driving a tank full of strippers. I mean, sure, you can make a video without these things, but you can also make beer without alcohol. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should - and that’s one to grow on.*

*Except for you, Kevin Connolly. You had your chance.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady suffered a season-ending injury Sunday playing against the Kansas City Chiefs, the AP reports:

The 2007 NFL Most Valuable Player will miss the entire ‘08 season with a left knee injury that needs surgery, the team said Monday. That leaves the Patriots without one of the game’s great quarterbacks and severely damages their hopes of a return trip to the Super Bowl.
Coach Bill Belichick would not say what the injury is, but the play, Brady’s reaction and the prognosis all point toward a torn anterior cruciate ligament.

Yeah, what that guy said: torn crouton licorice. Anyway, I have absolutely no sympathy for Tom Brady. You don’t get to make millions of dollars banging Gisele Bundchen and have me feeling sorry for you. What I will do, however, is sub in for you whenever that knee’s acting up. I’m serious; put me in the game, coach. I’ll run the clock, pump fake, Blue 22 and whatever other football euphemisms you can come up with for premature ejaculation. Ready…. BREAK!

Anyone get the feeling Gisele Bundchen is suggesting something directly to me, The Superficial Writer? It’s either something really awesome like Naked Battleship, or she needs a chiropractor. Who knows? But I better stare at these photos from the latest issue of GQ for a few more hours/days to be sure. In the meantime, scope out this excerpt from Gisele’s interview:

Forbes has reported that you made $35 million last year, more than twice as much as any other model in the world.
Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.

Did I also mention Gisele has the world’s shittiest accountant and loves being robbed blind? Finally, a woman with money falling out of her vagina! And they all laughed at me. “That’s just some crazy sketch you made in the men’s room,” they said. Ha! Who’s laughing now? (Not counting Tom Brady whose about to suffer a horrible canoe accident. Anyone got a torpedo I can borrow?)

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions.

Gisele Bundchen poses for a photo shoot in Malibu with fashion photographer Mario Testino. (Hehe. Testino.) I used to think I had the greatest job in the world until I saw this crew-member diligently working to make sure Gisele’s ass looks magnifico. Truly he’s doing God’s work and shall be rewarded for such in the kingdom of Heaven. Right after I push him off a cliff and steal his identity. Professional ass-pattery, here I come!

Gisele Bundchen helped launch the Vogue Eyewear Play Everyday Campaign in Ibiza, Spain. I’ve never been a big fan of Gisele. Something about her face normally suggests she used to be named Tim. That said, she is looking all kinds of sexy in these pics. In fact, I’m so sure her ass could cure cancer, I’ve sent my findings to the brain-children at Johns Hopkins.

UPDATE: This just in: Scientists at Johns Hopkins declare Gisele Bundchen’s butt is the miracle cure for cancer. Claim to have never spoken to The Superficial Writer. But do, however, have medical records that can prove he has world’s tiniest testicles, if he opens his yap. For reals, no jokes.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen probably had an awkward time last night. The two were celebrating the Patriots win over San Diego and hit up Butter in New York City. However, Gisele’s ex Leonardo DiCaprio also happened to be there. I hate running into my ex. Like in my living room. Or in the bathroom. That’s what I get for dating my Batman slippers. I thought we had a connection, but then the peyote wore off. You know how it goes.

NOTE: That’s seriously Leonardo DiCaprio in the last pic doing what I assume is his impression of a giant penis with arms. The man is our generation’s Brando.

Tom Brady enjoyed a day off yesterday with his girlfriend model Gisele Bundchen. Gisele pulled out all the stops for Tom and wasn’t afraid to show off her modeling skills: Cooling herself down with a wet towel – seductively. Adjusting her bathing suit – seductively. And, of course, pretending to enjoy food – seductively. I think. Cringing your man-face at the sight of a fork is the new hot for female models, right? Okay, cool, just checking.

While football star Tom Brady played in Miami, his girlfriend model Gisele Bundchen frolicked on the beach with a friend. Are you looking at these pictures and thinking what I’m thinking? She’s totally not wearing any sunscreen. What were you thinking? Oh, wow! That’s a serious accusation, man. You do make a good point though. Tom Brady is just one step away from dating dudes, but you can’t just go right out and say something like that. You’ve got to slyly insinuate it using the, uh, insinuationy stuff. For example: Tom Brady must really be a into 15-year-old boys because Gisele Bundchen has the body of one. See? Subtlety. It’s a talent, I know.

More pics of Gisele in her bikini after the jump.

Today is maybe the slowest news day ever, so here’s Gisele Bundchen in Melbourne, Australia launching her new Ipanema shoe collection for Novo. Although calling these things shoes is a stretch. They’re more like flip flops. Ugly flip flops. You’d think a supermodel would be better at this. Well, no, I guess that’s not true. The only thing you’d expect a supermodel to be good at is not eating and holding books upside down.

Forbes Magazine just released their Celebrity 100 list with the world’s most powerful celebs. They’ve added up annual salaries, web rank, PR rank and TV rank.

Last year Oprah Winfrey earned $260 million for the year! Prisoner Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears didn’t even make the list.

Here is the full list from Forbes: