Jewel married longtime boyfriend rodeo star Ty Murray yesterday in the Bahamas, according to Us Magazine:

“Jewel is thrilled! It was so romantic,” the source adds. “She looked beautiful! Her dress is gorgeous, the ring is gorgeous. They can’t be happier!”
The two share a 2,200-acre central Texas ranch with their shitzu George. Born in Utah and raised on a ranch in Homer, Alaska, Jewel has said living on Murray’s ranch “is comforting because I’m able to do the things I was raised with, like riding horses and doing branding.”

Oh yeah, horses are real cool, Jewel - until they paralyze you! Jesus. Did Christopher Reeve teach us nothing about horses: nature’s hooved killers of the night? Think about that on your ranch full of murderers. God, you people make me sick. Oh yeah, and also, congratulations.

Singer/songwriter Jewel attended the 41st Annual CMA Awards in Nashville last night. We’ve secretly replaced Jewel’s usual silicone-enhanced breasts with rapidly drying prunes. Let’s see if she notices…