Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have quietly thumbed their noses at celebs brokering baby photo deals. Probably not a smart move because I’m pretty sure Angelina Jolie could take Nicole in a fight. In fact, in the sake of research, I’m going to imagine such a battle right now. “Pow! BAM! Ziff! Use the battering ram, Nicole!” While I’m performing my journalistic duties, scope out what a friend of Nicole’s told the Sydney Morning Herald. “BOFF! Eek! Ease up, Angelina. She’s Australian!”:

“They don’t think it’s appropriate to make deals. They are still deciding how they feel about - if and when they will release a photo at all. But they realise there is enormous interest from the public and they are grateful and appreciative of that,” the source said.

Damn, if they’re just giving them away, I’ll get in on that. Give me two 8 x 10s and some wallets. I can’t guarantee I won’t pretend I’m a single father to pick up chicks at the mall - because I’m going to. So, can you maybe Photoshop Sunday Rose a bit? You know, make her look like the fruit of my loins. Just add a knife between her teeth and eyes that can see into a woman’s soul. (Read: Give her those X-Ray glasses with the spirals for lenses.)

Nicole Kidman gave birth to a little girl on Monday and stuck her with the curious moniker of Sunday Rose. But why? If you’re like me, you haven’t been able to shit thinking up reasons. Yes, that’s how serious I take this job. (Or eat too much cheese.) Anyway, friends of Nicole are saying the baby’s name is a tiny slap across Tom Cruise’s midget face, according to MSNBC:

“Nicole is a Catholic, and Sunday was an important religious day for her until she was involved in Scientology,” said the source. “She’s still bitter about her experience with Scientology and the fact her baby’s name could be perceived as one last jab doesn’t exactly upset her.”

Other names Nicole Kidman considered:

Your Penis is the Size of a Gherkin Elizabeth Kidman Urban
Madison I Hate Your Grinning Buttpirate Face Kidman Urban
Olivia L. Ron Hubbard had a Vagina Taylor Kidman Urban
Katie Holmes He’s Afraid of Raccoons Use Them And Run Bitch Run Kimberly Kidman Urban

Nicole Kidman, who I completely forgot was pregnant, gave birth to baby girl Sunday Rose Kidman Urban this morning. This is Nicole’s first child and Keith Urban’s as well. Her two children with Tom Cruise are adopted and creepy Scientologists, so they don’t count. Us Magazine reports:

The baby weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces.
“Husband Keith was by Nicole’s side and mother and baby are very well,” the rep said.

I have to admit Keith and Nicole do look happy. He’s also not hung up on her size like a certain knee-high Thetan. (Yeah, I’m looking at you Travolta!) If Tom Cruise were in these pictures he’d be wearing a jetpack and yelling “Look at me! I’m tall too! You can’t legally declare someone a midget! I wear big boy pants! WHEE!” Then he’d get caught in a spider web. Ha ha! He hates that.

Congrats to Nicole, Keith and Sunday Rose!

After weeks of denying rumors, Nicole Kidman has announced she is pregnant. This will be her first baby with husband Keith Urban. She has two adopted children with Tom Cruise. The Associated Press reports:

Nicole Kidman is pregnant, her publicist confirmed Monday. The 40-year-old actress and her husband country singer Keith Urban “are expecting a baby,” publicist Catherine Olim said in a brief statement. “The couple are thrilled,” Olim said.

This comes off the heels of an unconfirmed report from Page Six this morning that Nicole had dropped out of her next film to be extra careful about the pregnancy:

Page Six has heard from extremely well-placed sources that the Oscar-winning Aussie - who’s suffered miscarriages in the past - not only has a bun in the oven but is so concerned about the welfare of her unborn child that she’s taking a break from her film career and has dropped out of director Stephen Daldry’s post-World War II Germany drama “The Reader,” which she was supposed to start shooting this month.

Congratulations to Nicole and Keith. Now that she’s no longer married to Tom Cruise, I’m sure it’ll be nice for Nicole to no longer have to explain why Daddy has aliens inside of him that only a special Speedo-clad policeman with a moustache and boombox can get out. Though I hear Katie Holmes is making a children’s book out of it called “God, I Hate My Marriage Please Send Help! goes to the Circus.”