Nikki Blonksy is opening up about her side of the airport brawl that landed her father in jail and the mother of America’s Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden in the ICU. And, of course, Nikki’s story is conveniently free of vagina-kicking but loaded with racial innuendos. People reports:

Things took a nasty turn, she says, when she asked Bianca not to point her finger in her face. “That’s when she stood up, pulled her arm all the way back and said, ‘F— you, you white b—-.’ And she closed her fist and punched me,” says Blonsky.
Golden – whose mother, Elaine, had to be airlifted to a hospital for her injuries – gave a very different account, telling Tyra Banks that Nikki kicked her mother in the groin and that Carl punched her mom in the face.
“Absolute lies,” says Nikki.

Remember that part in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where the chick turns into a giant blueberry? Just sayin’.

Former America’s Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden has revealed her account of the airport brawl between her family and Hairspray star Nikki Blonksy’s (above). While filming an upcoming episode of The Tyra Banks Show, Bianca described the incident that allegedly started when Nikki became “very rude” to her aunt. People reports:

An argument erupted between Blonsky’s and Golden’s families, then Blonsky’s father Carl “punched my mom.”
“He knocked her out,” says Golden. “He hit my mom with such force she stumbled back and when she stumbled back the whole family got up and attacked my mom.”
Then, when her mother was on the ground, Nikki “takes her foot and kicks my mom in her vagina, and that’s when my mom fell out completely,” says Golden.
“When Nikki kicked my mom I went and grabbed her arm and she grabbed my earring,” says she. “Her mom sat on her to get her off of me cause her mom saw what was happening and that was that.“
Golden says her mother was airlifted to the hospital with internal bleeding, a broken nose and a fractured skull.

Nikki Blonsky’s mom obviously acted as the ass of reason by employing her family’s natural talent for slapstick to defuse the situation. Because how do you not laugh at one fat person sitting on top of another? Unless, of course, you were just kicked in the hoo-ha and rendered unconscious. Then, maybe, I could see if you didn’t fully appreciate the comedy of the situation. I guess.

Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray) recently made headlines when her family started a brawl in an airport lounge after their luggage was moved by the family of America’s Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden. The incident landed Bianca’s mother in the hospital and Nikki’s father in jail. Bianca and Nikki are also facing assault charges and are due in court next month. But brave Nikki’s not letting a little thing like her father doing time for braining a woman with his fists rain on her parade. Entertainment Tonight reports:

“You never expect things like this in your life, but you take life one day at a time, and you deal with situations,” Nikki tells Thea in her first interview since the incident. “The fact that [my friends and family] were there for me, and stood up for me, and the fact that they told the truth, that’s what meant a lot. They said who I was; I didn’t have to say anything.”

Nikki also expressed her undying love of her Hairspray co-star Zac Efron who she says has been a pillar of support:

“I love him with every inch of my body and soul. He’s stayed in touch and he has been so supportive through everything that I’ve gone through in my life; he is one of the best, best influences and people that I can ask to have in my life.”

My sources tell me Zac Efron’s “support” involved simply sending Nikki a Hallmark card which she then duct-taped to her chest and refuses to remove. There’s been an offer of baby back ribs but still no dice. Wait, they’ve just upped the offer to include cornbread. She’s climbing down from the building, folks. And, shit, she sees the tanks. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Nikki Blonksy’s father Carl was allowed to post bail yesterday due to a medical condition. He can’t leave the Turks and Caicos island until his trial for beating the ever living crap out of Elaine Golden the mother of America’s Next Top Model contestant, Bianca Golden. In case you forgot what grievous sin Elaine committed to deserve a trip to the ICU, she moved Carl’s luggage. Harpie! ET Online reports:

A police constable tells us that Carl, who’s been locked up in a Turks and Caicos islands jail for over a week, was freed after posting $3000 bail awarded to him by the Chief Justice on Monday morning. Regardless, he must remain on the island and his travel documents are in police custody.
He’s due to appear in court on August 19 at 9:00 a.m.

You know what’d be hilarious? As part of Carl’s sentence he’s banned from the airport effectively trapping him on the island. Of course, he could always use Nikki as a flotation device to aid his return to the homeland. Always look for that silver lining, folks. Even if it’s made of Ben & Jerry’s.

Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray) and her father were arrested after an airport brawl with the family of America’s Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden. The fight was over saved seats in the airport’s lounge. Oh, good. For a minute there, I thought it might be about something stupid. Us Magazine reports:

Bianca, 19, her brother George, 17, and their mother Elaine Clinton-Golden, were waiting for a flight to New York when they tried to take a seat in the departure lounge but found luggage on the chairs. When they removed the luggage, which belonged to the Blonsky’s, a brawl broke out.
Elaine was alleged to have been repeatedly kicked and punched all over her body. She was airlifted for treatment in Miami, Florida.
Nikki, 19, was charged with actual bodily harm; her father, Carl, was charged with grievous bodily harm, a source at the Turks and Caicos Weekly News tells Us.

In Nikki’s defense, the wing buffet in the lounge ran out of ranch dressing which put her under extreme emotional duress. To put things in perspective, at her 13th birthday party Pizza Hut ran out of cheesy bread. There were no survivors.