Adrienne Bailon of Disney’s The Cheetah Girls recently had her laptop stolen which contained “nude” photos intended for her boyfriend Robert Kardashian. She reportedly recovered it within hours of its theft at JFK airport, but this story has all kinds of holes in it. Apparently, Adrienne paid a $1,000 ransom to get the laptop back, but never pursued who stole it, according to NY Daily News:

“It’s not a scenario where she purposedly leaked the photos for attention,” Bailon’s rep Jonathan Jaxson told the Daily News on Monday. “We’re pursuing legal action.”
Bailon sent her family to recover her computer while she rushed off to a meeting with MTV, but they never got identification during the handoff.
“They didn’t really want to question it further,” Jaxson said.

So, nobody tried to ID the guy, or maybe I dunno, kick the shit out of him for stealing their daughter’s laptop? Makes sense. While the pics continue to spread across the Interwebs, Adrienne can’t imagine who is doing this, and all I have to say is, you’re surrounded by Kardashians. Food for thought. In the meantime, is a shot of your ass really a good idea when your boyfriend is the brother of Kim Kardashian? That’s probably the last thing that guy wants to see. It’s like sending a chocolate bar to Willy Wonka: “Oh boy, chocolate. Because I’m not bombarded in the face with it everyday or anything…”

NOTE: Pic links to NSFW version featuring Adrienne’s impossibly large butt crack. No, seriously, I’m pretty sure I saw a mountain goat.

Kate Winslet is featured in the latest issue of Vanity Fair and is reportedly pissed at recent comments claiming her pictorial was airbrushed. Her rep issued the following statement to People:

“Kate is furious at suggestions that her body has been airbrushed. She is in terrific shape and what you see is how she looks or she would never have agreed to pose for those shots.”

The Daily Mail brought in an airbrush artist who offered the harshest critique - because it’s true:

The face: ‘There is no real detail in her face. Any detail or wrinkles have been removed. There are no eye bags, contours and smile lines. The whites of her eyes have been cleaned up and are now a really clean, crisp white. I’d say her lips have possibly been made slightly fuller as well.’
The skin: ‘Her skin has generally been retouched all over so she has no lines or blemishes at all. Her skin is completely perfect.’
The hands and feet: ‘There are no wrinkles or lines or veins on her hands and feet and this just is not natural.’
The figure: ‘Her back and lower body have been pinched in to make her look thinner and to give her some curves. Her bottom has been rounded off so it looks nice and pert. I would be very surprised if her bottom was like that naturally. Her thigh appears to have been made slimmer so it appears more toned.’

Okay, seriously, who is looking at these pics and thinking: “Yes, that’s exactly how a woman looks.” (Not counting World of Warcraft fanatics, and everyone who beats me at Halo.) So, c’mon, Kate Winslet, cut the crap. The freaking T-Rex from Jurassic Park looked more realistic. Your ass looks like Toy Story - and I’m talking the first one. Not the shinier second one where Woody gets too cool for the other toys, and I yelled “Stop being a dick!” in a theater full of toddlers.

Gisele Bundchen and her longtime photographer Nino Munoz shot the following set of pics for American Photo’s 30th Anniversary Issue. Amidst all the hotness, the final shot is a non-airbrushed pic of Gisele without make-up on which I thought was a little unnecessary. That’s like eating an unbelievable steak dinner at a top restaurant, and just as you’re enjoying dessert, the maitre d’ shows you the dead cow they carved your meal from. You know what? Bad analogy. Now I want ribs.

For something she insists is a private matter, Vanessa Hudgens sure does talk a lot about the nude photos of her that were leaked onto the Internet. But what the hell, it’s a reasonably attractive nude girl with the added perversity of a Disney connection, so gab away, Nessie! The Mirror reports:

Everything was going so well for High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens. Adored by millions of fans worldwide, the clean-cut teenager’s career was soaring when, in September last year, a scandal erupted after nude pictures of her turned up on the internet.
Vanessa, who plays shy schoolgirl Gabriella in the hit Disney movies, managed to survive the embarrassment and says she has no regrets, but admits she learned a tough lesson.
“I think that everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t take back anything I’ve done,” she says. “I don’t like talking about it because it was something that was meant to be private and I’d still like to keep it as private as I can.
“It was very traumatic and I was extremely upset it happened, but I wouldn’t have been able to get through it if it wasn’t for my family, friends and fans who supported me all the way.”
Vanessa was 18 when the provocative pictures showing her posing naked and in skimpy lingerie appeared. She publicly apologised and, despite speculation she would be dropped from High School Musical 3 – out today – Disney, who referred to it as a “lapse of judgment”, kept her in the cast.
“I feel that I’m growing up and I’m learning,” smiles Vanessa, now 19. “I’m in control of what’s happening next. At times it’s been hard, but I feel so lucky to be where I’m at now.”

That’s right, Vanessa, nudity can be a great learning experience. For instance, up until recently I didn’t realize that elderly women don’t always appreciate it when you swing your penis around like a lasso and yodel seductively at them, no matter how much they seem to want it at the bus stop. That come-hither smile? Apparently it was just gas, according to the arrest report. The more you know!

Apparently, if you want Keira Knightley to take off her clothes and smear herself with apple jelly you have to give her a good reason. (I know, show-biz people—touchy, right?) The Duchess actress took time out from looking hot to reveal her philosophy about nude scenes to Glamour:

GLAMOUR: What about nudity? Are you comfortable doing it in a film?

KK: Pretty comfortable. I certainly wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t…. I detest unnecessary nudity and what it says about women in society.

GLAMOUR: What do you think it says?

KK: I think you see a lot of films where, Oh, yes, the woman gets her tits out again and runs around naked for no reason. And you kind of go, Ugh, do we have to?

Keira probably doesn’t have to worry about pulling her tits out for no reason, since she’s built like a 12-year-old boy and doesn’t have any tits. But she’s right that she shouldn’t strip down unless it’s essential to the plot. Hopefully she’ll warm up to the project currently in development in my head, Keira Knightley Runs Out of Clean Clothes So She Has to Do Her Laundry Naked and the Washing Machine Overflows So She Gets All Wet and Covered in Soap Suds. She should like it, since it’s a period piece, set in a time when she runs out of clean clothes, so she has to do her laundry naked and the washing machine overflows so she gets all wet and covered in soap suds.

Britney Spears debuted her new video for “Womanizer” today and the song definitely benefited from visuals. And, Jesus, the visuals. Here’s what to except from this thing conveniently lodged after the jump:

1. Naked Britney. And I didn’t cry!
2. Lingerie Britney cooking eggs. Her real specialty: Flaming bowl of Lucky Charms.
3. Britney photocopying her ass then punching said photocopy. I didn’t know this was autobiographical…
4. More Naked Britney. Again, no crying.
5. Cocktail Waitress Lap-dancing Britney. I think this video has exceeded its head-whipping threshold.
6. Britney driving a car with her foot while having sex in the backseat. This explains all those accidents.
7. Showering Britney. I’m gonna need a minute.
8. Crazy Vengeful Lingerie Britney. Yeah, make the bed over him. Guys hate that!
9. Naked Britney. Oh, I get it. She’s the narrator. Ha! Gonna need another minute…
10. Words. In a Britney Spears’ video? I guess - if you wanna be “artsy.”

Is Britney Spears back? Frankly, it felt like she never left. No, seriously, she can’t be killed!

This one’s for you, ladies (and The Geekologie Writer):

Zac Efron of High School Musical fame is eyeing up the controversial role in Equus that’s currently played by Harry Potter himself Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel was looking to shed his child star image and took the part which requires a full-frontal nude scene with a horse. Now Zac is looking to get in on the wang-dangling action. The Sun reports:

Zac let slip at the London premiere of High School Musical 3, saying: “You know that Daniel Radcliffe role on Broadway, well it’s been mentioned.”
He is clearly hoping to shed his wholesome image, having just finished shooting period drama Me and Orson Welles alongside CLAIRE DANES.
He said: ”I would love to just sit down and talk with LEONARDO DICAPRIO and JOHNNY DEPP and pick their brains about their early careers. They do it because they love it, not because they enjoy being famous. You have to have good foresight and be really careful. If you don’t adapt and learn at a very young age, you can really mess up.”

Hey, if flashing your penis to a room full of people is acting, then call me Leonard Fucking Nimoy. Unless the room is air-conditioned, then call me Tiny Kevin Connolly. Ha ha! I can kick this kid all day. He’s like a hackey sack!

Jenna Jameson posed nude for a new PETA ad encouraging pet owners to get their animals fixed. Apparently, when we’re not around, our furry friends are sex-craved maniacs who constantly get their Discovery Channel on. This explains why my cat bought a jacuzzi… Anyway, here’s some advice from a porn star:

“Until dogs and cats can go on the pill or wear condoms, we need to help them practice safe sex—by spaying and neutering,” says Jenna. “Millions of homeless animals are turned in to shelters every year because there simply aren’t enough good homes for them all. The answer is as easy as ABC: Animal Birth Control, which means get your Fido or Fluffy fixed!”

I don’t think PETA thought Jenna’s ad through. Not only am I too tired from masturbating researching animal stuff to take my cat to the vet, but I’m pretty sure he’s not getting fed either. And, on that note, nap time.

NOTE: Included Olympic simmer Amanda Beard’s nude PETA ad because what can I say? I love animals. They make awesome friends or the perfect snack. Go for the gold, Amanda. U.S.A.!

Remember when FBI agents confiscated Anne Hathaway’s private journals during a raid of her ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri’s apartment? Turns out the Feds may have also hit the jackpot. And by jackpot I, of course, mean nude photos of Anne Hathaway because, frankly, that’s the only definition of the word I know. The National Enquirer reports:

In additional to the naked photos he took of Anne, 25, he also prized a sizzling photo of her in black fishnet stockings, a garter belt and bustier that totally exposed her top. Follieri, 30, supposedly paid a very famous photographer to take that steamy shot.
The Enquirer learned that just recently, Anne’s brother Michael tried to gain access to a hidden storage room in the Bronx where Follieri had storied some of his and Anne’s belongings after he moved out of his apartment.
“Michael went to the storage facility, but was told he was a day late. The day before (July 15), FBI agents had removed numerous documents, photos and what were believed to be Anne’s diaries from the storage room…. Michael was told that he could not get into the room or take anything out.”

As a taxpayer, I’m deeply troubled by these series of events. Mostly by the fact these pictures aren’t on the Internet yet. Give me nudity, or give me death! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Thanks to James who’s ready to form a militia and demand we see some boob. Provided he gets to wear a coonskin hat.

Eva Mendes is more than just the face for the new Calvin Klein Secret Obsession campaign. She’s also the bush, boobs and nipples. Just scope out the NSFW version of the photo above along with the even more NSFW commercial after the jump. The spot is already banned from US television because, holy crap, it’s Eva Mendes totally freaking topless. Although, with our economy in its current state, you figure the FCC would want to encourage consumers to buy shit, but what do I know? I’m just a simple man who can bend steel in his bare hands. At any rate, here’s looking forward to her next campaign: Eva Mendes’ Clitoris for Michelin tires.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in on this one. You’re all on my Christmas list!

Eva Mendes is more than just the face for the new Calvin Klein Secret Obsession campaign. She’s also the bush, boobs and nipples. Just scope out the NSFW version of the photo above along with the even more NSFW commercial after the jump. The spot is already banned from US television because, holy crap, it’s Eva Mendes totally freaking topless. Although, with our economy in its current state, you figure the FCC would want to encourage consumers to buy shit, but what do I know? I’m just a simple man who can bend steel in his bare hands. At any rate, here’s looking forward to her next campaign: Eva Mendes’ Clitoris for Michelin tires.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in on this one. You’re all on my Christmas list!

These are the much ballyhooed photos of Sienna Miller hanging out topless in Portofino, Italy with married actor Balthazar Getty of ABC’s Brothers and Sisters. The dude has been denying in the press that he’s involved with Sienna, but just in case, his wife is flying to Italy to sort things out, according to NY Daily News. I hope she likes nipples.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that, for some reason, make me see Gilligan’s Island in a whole new light.

Filed under: Misc. Gadgets

It takes some serious game to rise above the legions of mediocre DIYers out there and stand tall as a true legend. Judging by the video posted up after the cut, James Houston can now consider himself one of the elite. Somehow, this cat managed to tackle the nearly impossible task of remixing Radiohead’s Nude without defacing it entirely (read: merging bits and pieces of the tune into a 4/4 arrangement and calling it a day). Instead, he utilized a host of aging hardware (Sinclar ZX Spectrum, Epson LX-81 dot matrix printer, HP Scanjet 3c, etc.) to create a rendition that even Yorke could admire. For fans of In Rainbows and mesmerizing music videos alike, there’s a must-see waiting just below.

[Via Hack-A-Day, thanks Eliot]

Continue reading Antiquated hardware used to masterfully remix Radiohead’s Nude

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These are some shots of Megan Fox topless while filming Jennifer’s Body. Although is there any point to even putting stuff here? I’m just going to stop typing because, seriously, who’s looking at the words when HOLY CRAP, IT’S MEGAN FOX’S BOOBS! Obviously, these pics are NSFW and if you couldn’t figure that out, please e-mail me where you’ll be operating a motor vehicle. Mostly so I can take such necessary precautions as, I dunno, running for my fucking life!

Lindsay Lohan will start shooting soon for the indie film Florence where she’ll only be paid $75,000 for her role as a nymphomaniac waitress. Lindsay offered to go full fiery frontal for the part that she’s hoping will rekindle her career. But the producers had other ideas. Softpedia reports:

“She just wants to remind people that she can act and she’s worth hiring.” Also, the source reports that although the script only requires LiLo to show her boobs, she offered to go all the way down and strip completely. “She said it would be no problem to go Full Monty,” added the insider. Thankfully, the producers refused to go along with her very helpful offer.

I think the producers, like most people, realized Lindsay Lohan naked is not the awesome event we’d all hoped it would be. I mean, her boobs were okay, I guess. To be honest I thought at least a dragon would fly out of them then battle a knight on top of her right breast while Zakk Wylde played some wicked riffs on the left. But it turns out Lindsay has plain old nipples. Huh, I don’t get it.

Thanks to Paul who has ninja throwing stars for nips.

Amy Winehouse posed nude to raise breast cancer awareness. How, exactly, I couldn’t even fathom because currently my brain is trying to punch it’s way out of my ear. I don’t know which is worse: this ad or the close up shots of Amy’s impetigo’d face. At this point, I’d rather look at secret option #3 otherwise known as a tomahawk entering my retina.

Thanks to Todd for the pic. Remind me to repay you in non-negotiable “I’m burning your goddamn house down while you sleep” dollars.

Over the past few days provocative photos of what may or may not be Sex and the City star Kristin Davis have surfaced on the net. Do I think it’s really her? Absolutely. I mean, everyone’s been nude on camera. Even Hillary Clinton who, I must say, was a true professional. Miss you, babe! Anyway, TMZ is giving their final word on the whole situation and shooting down the rumors these pics are part of a sex tape:

The photos, we’re told, were snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. That’s right, they are just photos — no sex tape, fellas! According to reports, 20 photos are making the rounds, but actually it’s not quite 20.
We’re told the ex-boyfriend was pissed at Kristin and then sold the photos to a third party. Classy, huh? The third party got involved in a business venture with another guy and we’re told that guy pilfered the pics and they ended up online.

That guy is supposedly Scott Fayner who had the pics on his website, but as of this post they’re gone and only link to a porn site where you have to pay to see the rest. Then, once you pay, surprise!, you don’t see them. Not that I paid or anything and you’ll never prove it. *throws wallet out the window* HA! I win!

NOTE: Photo links to a ridiculously NSFW pic that shows just what’s in Kristin Davis’ mouth. And, no, it’s not a Crossainwich but good guess.

WWE Diva Maria (Real name: Maria Kanellis) autographed copies of the April issue of Playboy yesterday. Maria appears totally nude in the issue which must be awesome for wrestling enthusiasts. The only thing that could make it hotter for WWE fans is if they found out Maria is their sister. Or, okay, let’s be more realistic, their cousin.

These are screen shots of Marion Cotillard in the movie La Vie en Rose that earned her an Oscar for Best Actress. And, hey, what do you know? She’s completely nude. Like downtown nude. I think these shots not only celebrate the human spirit and fine art of cinema, they also prove that foreign films are wicked awesome. And not just because of the nudity. But because of their compelling story and characters - who eventually get nude and do it with all kinds of crazy angles. Viva la cinema!

NOTE: Pics are totally NSFW. Granted they’re from an Oscar-winning movie, they’ll probably get you Oscar-winning fired.

EDIT: Turns out these shots are from Marion’s earlier film Les jolies choses. I’m not very good with foreign films. The last one I saw was Ernest Goes to Canada. Hey, Vern, it sucked.

While Dina Lohan thinks Lindsay’s nude photos are the second coming of Christ, Michael Lohan has yet to see the topless shots of Lindsay as Marilyn Monroe, according to Us Magazine:

“I’m not going to look at the photos — that’s my daughter!” he told Usmagazine.com in a telephone interview this morning.
“Lindsay is an adult, and she knows the direction she wants to take her career,” he said. “It’s her decision.”

Michael Lohan hung up the phone then looked down at the coffee table. There, almost tauntingly, sat Lindsay’s issue of New York magazine. And then it spoke: “Michael, dude, seriously.” Michael Lohan shrugged his shoulders and said “Shit, I can’t argue with that… Eww. Why are they sagging like that? Gross!” Michael Lohan walked away and went looking for the Sears catalog.