O.J. Simpson is desperately angling to get himself on the next season of Donald Trump’s highly-rated The Celebrity Apprentice. But, get this, Orange Juice might actually pull it off. Page Six reports:

“Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious,” our source said. “There’s a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson.”

While having O.J. compete for the Donald’s approval will mean big ratings, it’s obvious the Juice deserves his own reality vehicle. Something classy. Like a VH1 dating show called Knife of Love. O.J. will find his soulmate amongst the contestants then, you know, murder her out back. Fortunately, it’s a scientific fact that the chicks on these shows are really hookers, so it’s basically a victimless crime and everyone wins. High five!

A few weeks ago O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend cheated on him with a handyman. O.J. confronted the guy and threatened to kill him. Now why does this sound familiar? The New York Post reports:

With his gal pal, Nicole look-alike Christie Prody, next to him, Simpson peeled his Lexus sedan into the driveway in the late evening as Marlene Gonzalez was parking her brawny hubby’s pickup truck.
Simpson made a beeline for her, shouting, “I need to f- - -ing talk to you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.
He told her that her husband had sex with Prody earlier that day, she said.
“I told him he had to solve that problem with his girlfriend,” she said.
Janos Gonzalez, who had been inside, emerged and told Simpson to leave.
But Simpson told the lantern-jawed lothario: “Come over here. I’m going to f- - -ing kill you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.
Simpson then placed his hand behind him as if drawing a gun, she said.

Okay, stop for a minute. If you’ve had sex with O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend and he shows up at your house threatening to kill you, it’s a safe bet that HE F—ING WILL! How stupid do you get? Who does this guy think he is coming out of the house? I didn’t know Superman’s real name was Janos Gonzalez. Apparently I’ve been misinformed, because Janos here is going to demonstrate how bullets bounce off his chest.

NOTE: When did the Post start writing like a harlequin novel? “Brawny hubby?” “Lantern-jawed lothario?” This isn’t even Page Six, this is their actual news. I tried to read about the presidential candidates, but I got confused when the stable-hand started churning the lady-of-the-house’s butter while the baron was out to market.