NSFW NSFW NSFW and NSFE = Not Safe For Eyes
via Extreme Celeb Wrecks
For all of you people who wanted to see Pamela Anderson’s birthday dance for Hugh Hefner in her birthday suit uncensored there it is. I personally didn’t need to, but you know my theory why should I suffer alone!!!

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A few months ago Pamela Anderson sang Happy Birthday to Hugh Hefner in her birthday suit and his ex-girlfriends documented it for their show The Girls Next Door on E!. Thankfully the show airs on a broadcast channel and they blurred out what needed to be blurred. Becauses I would not want to see the unblurred version.

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Pamela Anderson attended the Vivienne Westwood Red Label event in London last night with some dude in a weird mask. I have no clue. Anyway, apparently wanting to smother the crowd in an avalanche of breast, Pam decided to wear a push-up bra which brings me to my final question for the weekend: Is there such a thing as too much cleavage? My penis tells me “No” while my need for oxygen tells me “Huh? I wasn’t paying attention.” Discuss.

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We’ve been hearing a lot about Sarah Palin from celebrities these days. But just once I’d like to hear someone tackle the real issues instead of Matt Damon citing Internet rumors or a marginally humorous parody video that ends with Gina Gershon stripping down to a bikini making me want to marry it. And, so, like a knight in shining breasts, comes Pamela Anderson to challenge Governor Sarah Palin. Is it over her lack of foreign policy experience? Contradictory views on a woman’s right to choose? The Bush Doctrine? Oh, no, my friends, it’s about Sarah Palin posing next to a bearskin draped over a couch in Newsweek. I present to you the political musings of Pamela Anderson:

“I can’t stand her. She can suck it.”

Masterful. (Not counting the irony of the word choice and the speaker.)

Video after the jump.

I can’t believe how funny Pamela Anderson was talking to Ellen Degeneres about her marriage track record! Good for her for having a sense of humor about it. Now let’s hope Ellen’s marriage to Portia de Rossi lasts longer than Pamela Anderson’s last two marriages to Kid Rock and that guy who made a sex tape with Paris Hilton…what was his name again.

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In the biggest display of FTWism ever, Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson have been secretly dating, according to the UK Mirror. The two met up in Malibu and apparently hit it off proving my theory that Pamela would hump a toaster oven if it had a hedge fund:

They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off.”
So much so Michael plucked up the courage to ask Pammy out on a second date. And she was more than happy to accept.
We’re told: “They went for a coffee at Country Mart in Malibu and looked very comfortable with each other. They chatted about Michael turning 50, his new album, their kids. And he seemed genuinely interested in Pamela.”

Dating? I don’t think so. In fact, it’s pretty obvious what’s happening here: Michael Jackson wants implants. Kids love balloons!

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Pamela Anderson partook in some activism while in Australia today. She stopped by a KFC to hand deliver a letter to the corporation citing their abuse of chickens. (I hear they eat them.) Here’s an excerpt of the letter from PETA’s website:

I’ve been in Australia filming Big Brother, in which my housemates and I are confined and sealed off from the outside world, much like the chickens who are crammed inside barns for KFC. Fortunately, I won’t be stomped to death, have my legs broken or be scalded to death in a tank of hot water—yet, as PETA’s undercover videos have revealed, the chickens raised for KFC’s restaurants in Australia often suffer these abuses.

Here’s the fun part: Pamela Anderson made half a mil to appear on Big Brother whose biggest sponsor happens to be, surprise! KFC. Now that’s hypocrisy you can shake a nipple at. In the meantime, how the hell did Pam get out of the house? I thought she had to stay crammed in there like chickens in a barn, according to her letter. Way to negate the entire show’s authenticity, Pam. What’ll you ruin next? Christmas? Jesus, soon we’ll find out even your breasts are fake - Ho. Ly. Shit.

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Jessica Simpson’s publicist probably framed the “Real Girls Love Meat” shirt because it is really pissing people off. Nobody important, of course, just PETA and now Pamela Anderson. She decided to use some choice words this weekend to describe Jessica on an Australian radio show. The Sun reports:

“I think she is a bitch and whore. Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.”

Knowing Jessica Simpson she was probably talking about Hot Wheels. Maybe these two should put aside their differences, and, I’m just spitballing ideas here, press their bare breasts together. You know, for the children - and world peace. Yeah, whatever I just said: Jujubes. They should really let me work at the U.N. I’ve got answers to stuff.

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Pamela Anderson’s reality show on E! gets a premiere date and a name. Pam Girl on the Loose will premiere on August 3rd at 10p on E!. I have to be honest, I don’t know what to expect from this show but I would probably expect the unexpected. Afterall what has Pamela Anderson done that was expected?

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Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are officially reconciled and living together. Tommy revealed the news to Rolling Stone, but only because he thought they were a really cool pineapple with a tape recorder:

“Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,” said a beaming Tommy Lee. “It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together. We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go.”

After the interview ended, Tommy Lee proceeded to have sex with 20 hookers while saying “Yeah, man, I just really hope things work out. For the kids. I mean, I think I’m on the right trac- Holy shit, what am I doing? This isn’t right. I specifically ordered these chicks with flasks of JD around their necks. I can’t stressalize how muy mondo importante good customer service is, bro-seph. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell I just said either.”

“Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,” said a beaming Tommy Lee(speaking, of course, of his ex-wife and sex-tape costar Pamela Anderson and their two sons, Brandon and Dylan). “It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.” Let’s hope those crazy lovebirds keep it together this time. As Lee told us, “We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go.”

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Pamela Anderson has made it her mission to show the entire Northern Hemisphere her nipples. Here she is at a Grand Prix party she threw in Montreal over the weekend. Her shirt is a tad on the transparent side which is convenient considering her bra is a tad on the not-freaking-there side. Fancy! It’s almost like Pam looks in the mirror every day and thinks of new ways to showcase her nips: “Hmm, this shirt is nice, but it needs something - Bingo! Hearts cut out of the chest so my Tic-Tacs stick out! Yippee! Now, if only I was allowed near sharp objects…”

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW version but, really, are Pamela Anderson’s nipples that taboo? They’re so commonplace these days it’s like looking at a traffic light - with breasts.

Attention, everyone! Pamela Anderson’s breasts are still ridiculously large. You’re welcome. Oh yeah, she also hung out with Tommy Lee yesterday and bought some plants. I don’t know what that means, but I bet it involves doing it in a pile of a mulch. How else do you landscape? Ha ha, with a mower. Now you’re just making shit up.

EDIT: Moved this to the top of the page because, well, breasts. I think I’ve made my point.

Attention, everyone! Pamela Anderson’s breasts are still ridiculously large. You’re welcome. Oh yeah, she also hung out with Tommy Lee yesterday and bought some plants. I don’t know what that means, but I bet it involves doing it in a pile of a mulch. How else do you landscape? Ha ha, with a mower. Now you’re just making shit up.

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