In a shocking revelation that could only come out in the news vacuum before a holiday weekend (Diggin’ those Heidi Montag posts?), it appears Sarah Larson actually grew weary of The Clooney’s charm and cheated on him while they were dating, according to Page Six:

Larson seems to have a roving eye. Sin City sources say that while the former cocktail waitress, who’s trying to kick- start a modeling career, was dating Clooney, she “came to Vegas for a weekend and cheated on him” with a media mogul.
Larson and Clooney broke up earlier this summer. Sources said it was because they had little in common and because Larson insisted on getting breast implants. But, ever the gentleman, Clooney helped promote her new career before he dumped her, and she got a spread in Harper’s Bazaar and a few runway gigs at LA Fashion Week.

Damn! Someone cheated on The Clooney? That’s like finding out a free Ferrari doesn’t race out of Angelina Jolie’s vagina after you have sex with her. I mean, Christ, what’s a man have left to believe in in this crazy world?

Despite no longer being George Clooney’s arm candy, the paparazzi continue to trail Sarah Larson. She’s apparently still loved by the tabloids who report she got a boob job and is posing in Playboy. Hmm, she doesn’t look breastier. Maybe E! Online can shed some light on the subject:

“The stories are kind of crazy,” the source says. “Unfortunately, there’s a lot of speculation, because she and George aren’t talking about it.”
Despite the tabloid onslaught, Larson appeared in great spirits over lunch at Chaya Brasserie restaurant. She even got a little playful when one of the dozen or so paparazzi trailing her asked if she would ever date one of them like Britney Spears once did.
“Sure,” Larson said with a smile. “You want to be the next one?”

Okay, so Sarah’s not posing in Playboy with implants but will bang photographers. Good to know. Anyone got a camera I can borrow? And a starring role on ER wouldn’t hurt either. I mean, shit, John Stamos has one, so they’re practically giving them away. Also, I want my character to smoke a pipe while dropping powerful lines like “This man died of a broken heart.” And “Jimmy, if cancer was a puppy, your daddy would be getting lots of doggy kisses right now. In the pancreas.”

George Clooney has apparently decided to heed the advice of a mystery caller and kicked girlfriend Sarah Larson to the curb, according to a source for People:

Larson, 29, and Clooney, 47, made their public debut together at the Venice and Deauville film festivals last September. Later that month, the twosome were injured in a motorcycle accident.
Earlier this year, Larson accompanied Clooney to the Oscars – the first girlfriend ever to go with him to the event.

Sarah Larson is quite the party girl, but George Clooney is looking for someone that’s more his style. And that style would be young, hot, adventurous and evaporates after exactly 87 rounds of intercourse. Unfortunately, Sarah not only stuck around way past 100 but had the audacity to suggest George should buy an ottoman. An ottoman? Why don’t you just call his mother a whore while you’re at it, lady? Sheesh. Some nerve…

George Clooney sat down with Rolling Stone movie critic Peter Travers Wednesday night for a special screening of Leatherheads. During the Q & A, The Chinned One discussed his acting past and his experiences on the set of Roseanne which included a sexual offer from Roseanne. WARNING: If you just ate, skip to the witty banter after the quote. People reports:

“I worked on her first series, and when I met her she said, ‘You’re really good looking, why don’t you take me out behind the stage and make me stink.’ She was unbelievably kind to me at a time when no one was.”

Clooney, being a rookie actor, couldn’t answer with his honest response which I’m sure was something along the lines of: “Well, it looks like somebody already beat me to it. And by somebody I mean a pack of teamsters, Tom Arnold and, judging by your shirt, a hot roast beef sandwich - with fries.”

NOTE: I make the same face as the Clooney above every morning in front of my mirror. While on George it says, “Hi, I’m George Clooney. I’m suave and debonair,” on me it says, “Hi, I’m The Superficial Writer. I wear Spider-man jammies, ladies.”

Thanks to veggi whose pick-up line is so powerful, the Pentagon classified it as “Nuclear Sexy.”

George Clooney received an anonymous phone call at home telling him to curb his girlfriend Sarah Larson. The voice on the line said “Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you’re sorry!” Clooney and his chin didn’t take well to this offense and launched an investigation, according to Page Six:

Clooney, who discounts the possibility one of his pals played a joke on him - “It’s not a prank - none of my friends would do that” - called in the fuzz. With the help of his rent-a-cop chauffeur, he had the caller’s number traced to a pre-paid cellphone, then tried to find out if the suspect had paid by credit card to pin him down. But the investigation apparently dead-ended.

Sarah’s past has already came back to haunt her when pictures of her getting freaky last summer in Vegas surfaced online. And now her ex-boyfriend Tommy McKaughan shared details of their crazy forest love-making with yesterday’s News of the World:

“I’ll never forget the many nights we spent cuddled up in our little tent. Sarah would bring her crystals and ease away my aches and pains with healing ceremonies.
“She learned how to perform the classical Indian dance Orissi. George will love it. She’d play her bongos, put some oriental music on and start these incredibly sexy moves like belly dancing. Then we’d devour each other—in the tent AND outside. Neither of us are shy about our bodies and we had some of our best times rolling in the grass.”

Why does Sarah Larson’s ex-boyfriend talk like a bad porno writer? He’s going to have to come up with more believable characters than a bongo-playing belly dancer. That’s not sexy. What if she played a ukulele instead? But it had boobs - and the right one could talk! This is too good for nature boy. Get me Hollywood on the line. “Hello, Hollywood? I’ve done it again. A ukelele with talking boobs. Too real? Damn.”

UPDATE: George Clooney sold his house to buy a tent full of Viagra. Last seen heading towards the Ozarks with his turn signal on.

George Clooney’s girlfriend Sarah Larson looks prim and proper on the red carpet, but these pics that surfaced of her go-go dancer days in Vegas say otherwise. Taken just before she met the Clooney in July, these photos show Sarah getting her drunk on in a bikini and practically doing a guy in the middle of a dance club. I’m not saying George Clooney knows how to pick ‘em, but this is a girl you take home to mom. Then have sex with in the linen closet. Ah, sweet romance.

George Clooney’s girlfriend Sarah Larson helped model the new Ashley Paige swimsuits last night during LA Fashion Week. If you don’t recognize Sarah, it’s because her resume includes Vegas cocktail waitress and Fear Factor contestant. But now Sarah’s career is taking off as she enjoys her current role as George Clooney’s boobless arm candy. Good for her. But now, seriously, George, what do you have against breasts? Your mother was a cold woman, wasn’t she? Hmm, yes, I can tell. Never had time for little George did she now? No, always preoccupied with culinary pursuits and, judging by your after shave, haberdashing. Fly, fly, Mr. Clooney. Fly fly.