Turns out “former” call girl Ashley Alexander Dupre isn’t quite done whoring herself out yet. In the latest issue of People, Ashley gives her first interview about being ensnared in the FBI investigation that led to the resignation of her frequent client New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. (Bikini photos added for journalistic emphasis.):

On the real Ashley:
“I am a normal girl. Everyone knows me as ‘that girl,’ but I’m not just ‘that girl.’ I have a lot of depth, a lot of layers.”

On not knowing who Eliot Spitzer was:
“Some guys, they want to have conversations and really get to know each other. With him, it clearly was not like that. It was more of a transaction. Strictly business. I was there for a purpose – not to wonder who [he] could be.”

On becoming a prostitute:
“This wasn’t any different than going on a date with someone you barely knew and hooking up with them,” she reasoned. “The only difference is I can pay my rent.”

On how her mother found out:
Once the FBI told her they were looking into one of her clients, Dupré says she was forced to confide in her homemaker mother, Carolyn, that she was turning tricks.
“It was extremely painful for her,” Dupré says, though “my mother wasn’t angry. She was supportive.”

- -

“This wasn’t any different than going on a date with someone you barely knew and hooking up with them.” - Ashley Alexandra Dupre, hooker, poet, dream girl.

She had me at “I was there for a purpose.” *sigh*

The Lowe family seems fantastic to work for. In their ongoing legal battle with former nannies accusing them of everything from unpaid wages to flagrant masturbation, new accusations have arisen. Another ex-nanny, Laura Boyce, is claiming Sheryl Lowe made racially slurred accusations when she called in sick. Sheryl, fancying herself a doctor, issued her own diagnosis revolving around fellatio and minorities. Huh. Missed that episode of House. TMZ reports:

A former Lowe nanny has filed new legal papers, reiterating her most shocking claim — that when she tried to call in sick to work one day, Sheryl Lowe yelled the reason for her illness was “she got strep throat from sucking n****r d**k. I mean black d**k.“
“At the time,” Boyce says, “I was dating an African-American man.”

Well, these accusations prove one thing: Sheryl Lowe is a frequent commenter on this site! Ha! I kid. (Maybe.) Anyway, I love how Sheryl tries to smooth things over by saying “I mean black dick” after dropping the N-word. Because that softens the blow of accusing an entire race of carrying disease in their wangs. That’s like lighting someone completely on fire then saying “Shit, my bad. Have a wetnap.”

A new chapter has begun in the Rob Lowe sex scandal that everyone forgot about. James Maclear, a former chef for the Lowe’s, filed a declaration Friday that the ex-nanny accusing Rob of sexual harassment might be a cock-crazy psycho. Legally speaking. TMZ reports:

James Maclear says he worked for the Lowes as a chef from June to December 2005. In that time, he claims Jessica Gibson had an “overtly flirtatious manner.” He says within hours of meeting her she “changed into hot pants and was laying on the kitchen floor with her legs open in a very suggestive manner.”
He also says Gibson aggressively pursued him — on several occasions telling him “she was very horny” — even though he told her he had a girlfriend. He says once at a friend’s birthday party Gibson paraded around a pizza joint singing the Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me” directly to his girlfriend.

James Maclear also claims that he never saw Rob flirt with Jessica and that she’d been reported to her supervisor for her “constant sexual innuendo.” Intriguing. There’s only one way to get to the bottom of this: I’ll have sex with this so-called nanny which will allow me to prove if she was molested by Rob Lowe. I think. The important thing is I’ll lose my virginity. Ha ha, I kid. I lost it weeks ago to The Geekologie Writer’s mom. Best bumper car ride EVER.

Billy Ray Cyrus should be interviewed all day every day. The country star and father of Miley Cyrus (better known as Hannah Montana) stopped by The Today Show this morning to talk about the scandal involving a topless photo of Miley that appeared in Vanity Fair. Check out these awesome answers that run the hilarious gambit of poop and turkey necks:

On why he stayed quiet about Miley’s photos:
“My dad always told me the more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks.”

On the advice Kris Kristofferson gave him:
“And I remember Kris Kristofferson stopped me backstage at one of my shows and said, ‘Listen, hoss, always remember: The turkey with the longest neck’s always going to be the one everyone’s shootin’ at’.”

On the supposedly suggestive father-daughter photo:
“That’s just a daddy who loves his daughter a whole lot. If a daddy hasn’t hugged his daughter recently, I recommend he does.”

On his excuse for leaving the shoot early and not seeing the topless photo:
“I had a show to do, and an obligation, to go to Washington state … playing for the troops just back from Iraq.”

Billy Ray also added: “Yeah, the troops… and a group of scientists who needed me to play my gee-tar to cure cancer. Yeah. Dang gum diddily, I reckon all that stuff.” Wait a minute, he done served us a cowpie!

Video after the jump.

Many of you have probably heard that Dunkin’ Donuts pulled an ad featuring Rachael Ray because she looks “too Arab-y.” Apparently, her scarf set the right-wing blogs a-buzzing who decided to wage war on my beloved Dunkin’ until they pulled the ad. Bloodied and beaten, the purveyors of sweet fried bread that fuel my morning gave in, according to the Boston Globe:

The Canton-based company has abruptly canceled an ad in which the domestic diva wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men. Some observers, including ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, were so incensed by the ad that there was even talk of a Dunkin’ Donuts boycott.
‘‘The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad,’’ Malkin yowls in her syndicated column.
‘‘Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons.’’

Dunkin’ Deeznuts issued the following statement after pulling the terror-inducing ad. (Holy shit, she’s got a latte! Duck!):

Said the suits in a statement: ‘‘In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.’’

The only jihad that scarf makes me want to commit is against my hangover - with sweet caffeine. And if that’s not American, shit, I don’t know what is. That said, I’ll assume for their next commercial Rachael Ray, clad in the Stars and Stripes, will fire an AK at a Boston Creme - then dump scalding hot lattes on a gay wedding. Wow, I should work in advertising. I would sell stuff’s face off.

Thanks to BK for the “hot tip.” Get it? Hot? Like coffee. Comedy!

Dog the Bounty Hunter is returning for its fifth season proving that America loves retarded Bible-totin’ racists - in leather. (Back me up, West Virgina.) A&E held a “carefully choreographed” press conference yesterday to announce its decision to return Dog to the air. The AP reports:

“It’s not about ratings,” A&E spokesman Michael Feeney said. “We know his heart. We know him and know he’s not a racist.”
Scott Lonker, vice president nonfiction and alternative programming at A&E, said viewer demand for the show also weighed in the decision.
Niger Innis, national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality, said Chapman’s use of the racial slur was wrong. But he noted that Chapman “took ownership of the harm it caused” and “sought to turn his life around.”
Alphonso Braggs, Hawaii chapter president of the NAACP, disagreed, saying Chapman got off lightly for behavior that is “absolutely unacceptable.”
“If individuals see they are able to behave inappropriately with little or no consequence, they will continue that pattern,” he said.

While A&E played it close to the vest with its press conference, somebody should’ve made sure Dog didn’t send out press kits of his own. Like the one I happen to have in my shaky, caffeine-fueled hands:

Dear Viewers,

-DOG

Hugh Hefner apparently enjoyed the Miley Cyrus bare-back photos so much, that he wants to see what’s underneath the sheet. When she’s 18, of course. I mean, c’mon, Hugh’s not some dirty old man. He’s more like, oh I dunno, Jesus. Here’s the details from Extra:

“Certainly she’d be welcome to the magazine. She’s a very pretty lady.”
As for the drama caused by Cyrus’ VF shoot? “To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos — I think it’s a reflection of how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”

Hugh, old chum, I disagree with you on Americans being schizophrenic about getting freaky. Just because sometimes sex is awesome, then bad, then interrupting my video games, then super cool, then something I cry during, doesn’t mean all of us in the colonies have wacky views on the no-pants dance. If I need to build a castle out of LEGOs before knocking boots, that’s perfectly healthy. Unless my lady friend uses up all the gray pieces first. Then she might as well call a taxi and get the heck out because I’m a man with principles, dammit.

In a move destined to make Katie Holmes green with envy, Miley Cyrus was allowed to interact with the public on Saturday night. Disney granted her a brief reprieve from her exile from showing part of her bare back in Vanity Fair. But not without a price. Miley is currently scrubbing Epcot Center with a toothbrush. No foolin’. Pluto told me, but, admittedly, he sounded kind of drunk. People reports on Miley’s outing:

“I hope you had an awesome time,” Cyrus told the crowd after performing her set. “I saw a sign back there that said, ‘Miley, I’m praying for you.’ I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you.”

Disney, of course, took numerous precautions. Miley was rigged with state of the art electronic surveillance devices that would send a jolt if she attempted to remove her shirt without the presence of a Disney employee or said certain keywords such as “Vanity,”, “Fair,” and “Annie Leibovitz.” However, Disney’s plan backfired when Miley absorbed 1.21 gigawatts after she asked for some juice.*

*Give it a minute….

Okay, before everyone flips out, these chicks are LEGAL. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t send you guys to jail - yet. Anyway, I was about to pack it in for the weekend when I stumbled across this little piece TMZ uncovered. It turns out Disney, who balked at the mere showing of Miley Cyrus’ bare back, is in the business of selling lingerie in China with girls made to look like a jail-bait bonanza:

TMZ has turned up Disney ads marketing lacy, sexy lingerie by models who are made to look underage. They’re hawking bras, undies and lacy boy shorts. They are nothing short of seductive. The photos are being used by Shanghai Zhenxin Garment Company to sell Disney clothes in China.

Now that’s good old-fashioned hypocrisy. In the meantime, I can’t really get turned on with Winnie the Pooh sitting on that chick’s shoulder quietly judging me. C’mon, Pooh, a man’s got needs. Like that time you and Eeyore got stuck in a snowstorm. Dude, don’t act so surprised. You had his tail stuck to your stomach for a week. No joke. None of us had the heart to tell you. Plus it was pretty damn hilarious - donkey fucker. BURN! Aww, I kid. Let’s go find Christopher Robin and get him to steal beer from his dad’s fridge.

The rumors about Disney keeping Miley Cyrus out of the spotlight are apparently true. Damage control is in full effect after her “pedophile’s dream come true” photo shoot (actual quote from Christian Coalition. Okay, not really.) Miley was scheduled to appear at Walt Disney World but mysteriously backed out at the last minute, according to Us Magazine:

The 15-year-old — who shocked fans by posing semi-topless for the magazine — has pulled out of a weekend media party to promote the “Disney Channel Games,” Walt Disney World spokesman Gary Buchanan said Thursday. She was set to attend the bash, along with other Disney Channel stars.

My sources tell me Miley is locked in an underground bunker with Natty Gann, Pollyanna and the sister from Escape from Witch Mountain. If nobody knows who the hell those three are, I now feel super old and will spend the rest of the day sobbing into my donut. *bites* Hey, my tears taste like chocolate. Then the prophecy is true: Willy Wonka is my real dad! Mom, how could you?! I mean, without smuggling me home an Oompa Loompa in your purse. You never loved me!

It’s a scientific fact that Barbara Walters had sex with every famous man alive between 1920 and, well, let’s assume she’s still going at it. No, wait, don’t-*HORF* Anyway, it should’ve come to no surprise when she admitted to having an affair with high-powered Senator Brooke of Massachusetts during the 70s. Barbara disclosed the affair to Oprah Winfrey on an episode scheduled to air next week. The AP reports:

“He said, ‘This is going to come out. This is going to ruin your career,’” then reminded her that Brooke was up for re-election a year later. “‘This is going to ruin him. You’ve got to break this off.’”
Winfrey asks Walters if she was in love.
“I was certainly — I don’t know — I was certainly infatuated.”
“Infatuated.”
“I was certainly involved,” Walters says. “He was exciting. He was brilliant. It was exciting times in Washington.”

While he’s no longer a spring chicken, Senator Brooke stuck to man-code and denied passing legislation of the sexy persuasion with Bawbwa:

“I have had a lifetime policy and practice of not discussing my personal and private life, or the personal and private lives of others, with the notable exception of what I wrote in my recently published autobiography, `Bridging the Divide: My Life,’” he told The Associated Press in a phone interview from Miami. A relationship with Walters wasn’t mentioned in his book.

I know what you’re thinking: Barbara Walters? I thought she was a robot. Ha ha! No.* You see, back then Barbara was the sexiest thing since sliced bread. And in the 70s she was only the ripe, post-menopausal age of 82. RAWR!

*But maybe.

There’s something sweet about a couple that share common interests. In Rob and Sheryl Lowe’s case, it’s getting sued for sexual harassment. Aww, now that’s good marriage-ing. While Rob is facing allegations of his own, Sheryl just got nailed in a lawsuit from another former nanny. Apparently Mrs. Lowe is a bit of an exhibitionist, according to People:

Laura Boyce, who worked for the couple for seven months in 2007, claims Sheryl Lowe created an “extremely sexually offensive and hostile work environment … behaving in a … perverted, disgusting and crude manner.”
Boyce also alleges that Sheryl used the “n” word in reference to Boyce’s boyfriend, who was an NBA player.
Sheryl also allegedly “walked around naked, completely exposing herself” to Boyce, asked about her boyfriend’s private parts and talked about Sheryl’s sex life with Rob.

I don’t know what these people are complaining about. Working for the Lowes sounds AWESOME. In fact, I’d like to offer Rob and Sheryl my services. I’ve got no problem with nudity and, Sheryl, feel free to ask me anytime if my dong is long like Donkey Kong.*

*Editor’s Note: It’s itty and bitty like the Kong’s pal Diddy.

Apparently unable to find a scarlet letter for Miley Cyrus to wear, Disney is forcing the young starlet into hiding after her not-really-that-bad photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz turned into a national debacle. Holy shit, it’s her bare back! BURN HER! The New York Post has the details on Disney’s brilliant PR move:

“You won’t be seeing her for a while,” a highranking Disney employee was overheard saying this weekend at a luncheon in LA, according to Page Six. “The company is keeping her away from events and wants her to keep a very low profile for the next four to six months. They’re trying to keep her contained.”

Of course, has we all learned the past couple of days, Hannah Montana is a billion dollar franchise and Disney is no doubt concerned about losing precious dollars from the Bible Belt. And it doesn’t help when Michelle Combs of the Christian Coalition starts making comments to Us Magazine calling for Disney to “reprimand” Miley:

“If she’s gonna go out there and represent wholesome values, she needs to be more accountable for her actions,” Combs says.
Combs adds that famed photographer Annie Leibovitz has “a reputation for doing racy things … Miley should have thought this out before she agreed to go in front of Annie.”

This makes a whole lot of sense really. If Mel Gibson and The Passion of the Christ proved anything, it’s that the Christian market has an ASSLOAD of coin. They also love a good story where a Jew gets blamed for something. In this case: Annie Leibovitz. Not one to miss out on some easy money, I’m thinking of changing the name of the site to something a little more Puritan. I’m leaning towards “Jesus Loves Titties.com.” Mmm, wholesomey.

Vanity Fair fired back today by simply posting the Miley Cyrus interview and photo shoot on their website. Basically, it takes the piss right out of the following claim made by Disney via The New York Times who think Disney is worried about the shots alienating parents from their billion dollar franchise:

A Disney spokeswoman, Patti McTeague, faulted Vanity Fair for the photo. “Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” she said.

Vanity Fair’s online article also includes behind the scene photos, where the picture above was taken, that show Miley having a blast during the shoot. Here’s a quote from the article:

Um, was Cyrus—or Disney—at all anxious about this shot? “No, I mean I had a big blanket on. And I thought, This looks pretty, and really natural. I think it’s really artsy.”

I put on my detective hand and tried to find the gun in these photos that Annie Liebovitz used to force defenseless Miley Cyrus to pose for these pictures, but so far no dice. I thought I saw Adolf Hitler with a machete and had cracked this case wide open but it was just a palm tree. Then why did it have a moustache…

NOTE: I know you guys are probably wondering what the brain trust at The View thought about this whole debacle. Well, you’re in luck, video after the jump of Whoopi cutting through the bullshit and telling it like it is while Elisabeth Hasselbeck apparently listened to Rush Limbaugh this morning and blamed Annie Leibovitz. Fortunately, there’s Joy Behar to say “Billy Ray is robbing that ass!” So, prepare yourself, for the sassiest barrage of sass this side of Sassylvania.

UPDATE: Annie Leibovitz issued the following statement to People: “I’m sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted. Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together and we discussed the picture in that context before we shot it. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful.” Afterwards, Annie ate the American flag then read a Harry Potter book because, didn’t you know? She’s a terrorist.

Miley Cyrus will appear on the cover of the latest Vanity Fair set to hit newsstands later this week. She posed for a, what she now calls “racy”, shoot (above) with legendary photographer Annie Liebovitz. Miley is worried the shots will alienate fans and issued an apology to Entertainment Tonight:

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” she tells ET. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

Vanity Fair is basically saying “WTF?” to the sudden hub-bub, because Miley and her parents had no problem at all when they initially saw the photos:

“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley. In fact, when BRUCE HANDY interviewed Miley, he asked her about the photo and she was very cheerful about it and thought it was perfectly fine.”

Apparently Disney, who owns Hannah Montana, was not aware of the photos until they appeared on Entertainment Tonight. You know how Disney cares about that wholesome image. They don’t want their young starlets flashing their goods until they’re good and insane. Right, Britney Spears? Now get that kitten out of your mouth. For the last time, putting hot fudge on it doesn’t make it food. You gotta use ketchup.

Miley Cyrus will appear on the cover of the latest Vanity Fair set to hit newsstands later this week. She posed for a, what she now calls “racy”, shoot (above) with legendary photographer Annie Liebovitz. Miley is worried the shots will alienate fans and issued an apology to Entertainment Tonight:

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” she tells ET. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

Vanity Fair is basically saying “WTF?” to the sudden hub-bub, because Miley and her parents had no problem at all when they initially saw the photos:

“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley. In fact, when BRUCE HANDY interviewed Miley, he asked her about the photo and she was very cheerful about it and thought it was perfectly fine.”

Apparently Disney, who owns Hannah Montana, was not aware of the photos until they appeared on Entertainment Tonight. You know how Disney cares about that wholesome image. They don’t want their young starlets flashing their goods until they’re good and insane. Right, Britney Spears? Now get that kitten out of your mouth. For the last time, putting hot fudge on it doesn’t make it food. You gotta use ketchup.

EDIT: Added a video after the jump from today’s The Early Show about the controversy. Disney is definitely flipping their shit. Hannah Montana is a billion dollar franchise. That’s a spicy meatball! Thanks to Lindsey at RedLasso for the hook-up.

Rob Lowe’s former nanny Jessica Gibson (above with high-powered attorney Gloria Allred) has definitely secured herself some good PR representation. Her family has been all over the media the past two days singing her praises and accusing the Lowe’s of overworking Jessica. Apparently Jessica’s half-sister Jamie helped Jessica land the job with the Lowe’s, according to their father who spoke to People this morning:

“I’m sure [Jamie] thinks if only she could go back and change things she would. But, she can’t – there’s no point regretting the past,” says Jim Gibson. “No one in the family wants her to think that way. What’s done is done.
“She was happy to get out of there. She couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing really bad happened like it did with Jessie, but Jamie was overworked and couldn’t stand it,” he says.

I still have my doubts about this whole thing. Especially when Jessica sits there smiling like an idiot on MSNBC and looks like she’s auditioning for American Idol. But there could be some truth to this, who knows? In the meantime though, I’m hearing word that Jessica’s past is about to catch up with her as she’s a bit of a party girl and has a taste for older dudes. And by hearing word I mean I read it on TMZ this morning. Woodward and Bernstein, I just made you look like bitches. WHA-POW!

Video of Jessica’s MSNBC interview after the jump for those who missed it.

Rob Lowe’s employees are backing up the actor’s claims that nothing inappropriate occurred between him and Jessica Gibson, the former nanny who accused of him masturbating in front of her and making sexual comments during her employment. People reports:

Lowe’s estate manager, Carol Andrade, defended the actor in a written declaration provided to Lowe’s legal team and obtained by PEOPLE: “Jessica never told me … that Rob ever said or did anything that she found inappropriate or offensive or that made her feel uncomfortable … or made sexual advances toward her.”
Having worked with the Lowes in other capacities off and on for about 12 years, Andrade explained that Gibson voluntarily quit her nanny position twice over the last few years, but returned to the Lowes “on good terms.”

Jennifer Dynof, the president of Rob’s company Lowe Profile, also backed up her boss and along with Carol is willing to testify in court:

“[In the past four years working for Rob], I have never seen him make any sexual advances toward any other woman or act inappropriately, offensively or disrespectfully toward any woman,” Dynof stated.

While this seems to bolster Rob Lowe’s defense, maybe these two never saw him pull out his West Wing because they’re, I dunno, not that hot. Eh? Maybe? No? You’re right. This is exactly why the cleaning ladies at our office have my picture on their cart with the caption “El diablo de los pantalones.” Which is flattering until I get Mop N’ Glo’d in the eye.

Jessica Gibson, the former 24-year-old nanny of Rob Lowe, is claiming the actor “exposed himself, touched himself and groped her several times in her lawsuit, filed yesterday in Santa Barbara,” according to TMZ:

The suit also alleges that the actor grabbed her butt without her consent in December 2007, around the time she quit working for the Lowes.

Jessica appeared on The Today Show this morning and you guys can scope out the video above. I find both sides of the story to be suspicious. Rob Lowe with his preemptive strike in the media and Jessica Gibson continuing to return to work for the Lowe’s after quitting and her resignation texts. Though somewhere in the middle is probably the truth which is that Rob Lowe touched himself and invited the nanny to watch - along with the neighbors, some Shriners and his Brothers & Sisters costar Sally Field, who would’ve loved to stopped by, but never knows what to bring to these things. A deli tray or is this more of a light dessert affair?

Filed under: Misc. Gadgets

Not a lot of people in the US know the name Lee Kun-hee, but he’s the chairman and son of the founder of the world’s largest gadget company: Samsung. And he’s also at the epicenter of one of the craziest corruption scandals the industry has seen in years. Kun-hee and his cronies have already been subject to government probes, and the disgraced chairman has already basically admitted his guilt and responsibility for Samsung’s bribery wrongdoings, but now he’s made the next ever so gingerly step towards the exit by stating, “I will deeply think about reshuffling the corporate management structure and the management lineup, including myself.” Sure, think it over, take all the time you need — just don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, man.

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