Look, times are hard. And since it couldn’t quite tap the market with its Body Trainer / FiTrainer, Dr. Itami (pictured not training for love) and Sega Toys have repackaged their MP3 player and heart rate monitor with verbal coaching as, get this, the Love Trainer. No seriously, the company that brought you the iDog is now pushing the already questionable workout companion as a “unisex sex enhancer.” Phrases like “please exercise a little bit harder” have been changed to a breathy, “Following the beat, make love much harder!” We’re not sure what, “Please confirm, the heart rate sensor!” could possibly mean in the middle of the ol’ somethin’ somethin’ but it can’t be good. Fortunately for Linux fans, the $80 Love Trainer can also be used without a partner. Video foolishness after the break with mildly NSFW content.

[Thanks, Chris T.]

Continue reading Video: Sega Toys’ Love Trainer says “the love making, will now begin”

Filed under: Wearables

Video: Sega Toys’ Love Trainer says “the love making, will now begin” originally appeared on Engadget on Wed, 28 Jan 2009 03:42:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Would you implant a chip into your head to augment your sex drive? That’s exactly what scientists are currently looking into: a device that sends tiny shocks to the part of your brain that is said to control the feelings of pleasure you get from both sex and eating. The neural stimulation is said to provoke physical stimulation, and according to Oxford Neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, such a device was successfully tried a few years ago, but removed when the subject complained about her constantly supercharged sex drive. He predicts future versions of the technology will let you turn the chip on and off when needed. Sure, sure — but can you overclock it?

[Via Tech Digest]

Filed under: Misc. Gadgets

Scientists research sex chip to stimulate pleasure in the brain originally appeared on Engadget on Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:17:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Pete Wentz must want a divorce. The Fall Out Boy bassist spent the morning talking candidly with Howard Stern about his sex life with Ashlee Simpson and basically stopped short of drawing an exact diagram of her vulva. Here are the highlights via E! Online:

On her post-baby body:
And Ashlee probably didn’t want him telling everyone about getting up to 150 pounds during her pregnancy, but at least he says the weight is “blazing off her—she’s a babe.” A babe with whom he has “an amazing sex life.”

On their sex life before Bronx Mowgli:
Their amazing sex life is in part due to Pete’s claim that “Texas girls are fun.” He spares no detail about the first time they had sex—including the place, the mirrors and what he was thinking: “Oh, my God, you are banging the girl of your dreams. We have such a sexual chemistry. Had we been on this show last year we’d probably be doing it in the green room.”

On the bedroom action now:
“We do other fun stuff. She’s not ready down there.”

On Ashlee’s breast size and other facts:
“She’s a C, but I think with the breast milk it’s a D.” And that she’s up for anything (really, anything): “Let’s just say my wife likes me to have a good time.”

I don’t even want to know what qualifies as a good time for Pete Wentz, but I guarantee it ends the same exact way every time: “Don’t worry, baby, homeless dudes hate cops. Now grab his feet.”

Amy Winehouse, presumably in exchange for a wheelbarrow full of crack, has revealed to News of the World that her marriage to Blake-Fielder Civil is over. He’s leaving her for German model Sophie Schandorff which is a significant improvement on his part. Then again, the same thing could be said about a sea turtle:

Drug-tortured star Amy dramatically confessed: “It’s over. There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for SEX. I fancied him like mad, like no one else I’ve ever known. But it’s not enough, is it?”

A friend of Amy’s also revealed that her sex life with Blake was as insanely excessive as their rampant drug use. She even arranged threesomes which I’m betting involved a shitload of duct tape and hush money:

“They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. She said she’s had a string of female lovers. Whenever Blake said he wanted three-in-a-bed Amy would fix it.”

“They thought they were on this sexual journey together. And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper. They were bad for each other, each pushing the other to excess, whether drugs or sex. Plus he sponged off her. And she’s awake to that now.”

Just imagine getting married to the only woman in the world who wants to still have crazy sex after the honeymoon, but it’s Amy Winehouse. I’ll give you a minute to stop crying. Okay, now, fellas, go home and hug your wives. Hug them and say “I love you, honey. We haven’t been intimate since that Christmas I spiked your coffee, but at least I can look at you without vomiting on the dog. Also, thanks for not making a big deal about the masturbating, strippers and cleaning lady.”

On second thought, maybe just get her some flowers.

Nick Cannon is a giant sack of dumb. Apparently, he agreed not to have sex with Mariah Carey until after they were married which is unbelievably retarded. Nothing like going to your honeymoon suite to find out your wife has a penis, and you didn’t sign a pre-nup. Might as well start writing those alimony checks out to “Frank” and save yourself the rush. The Daily Mirror reports:

But Mariah says hanging on for that two months from when they met in February to when they tied the knot in the Bahamas in April was well worth it.
She adds: “It’s not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn’t have complete intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings.
“I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Kids, listen up, not having sex before marriage is probably the stupidest idea in the history of man. That’s like not eating your last meal before going to the electric chair because you think they serve lobster tails in the afterlife. NEWSFLASH: They don’t. (But I hear there’s a Long John’s.)

Nick Cannon is a giant sack of dumb. Apparently, he agreed not to have sex with Mariah Carey until after they were married which is unbelievably retarded. Nothing like going to your honeymoon suite to find out your wife has a penis, and you didn’t sign a pre-nup. Might as well start writing those alimony checks out to “Frank” and save yourself the rush. The Daily Mirror reports:

But Mariah says hanging on for that two months from when they met in February to when they tied the knot in the Bahamas in April was well worth it.
She adds: “It’s not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn’t have complete intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings.
“I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Kids, listen up, not having sex before marriage is probably the stupidest idea in the history of man. That’s like not eating your last meal before going to the electric chair because you think they serve lobster tails in the afterlife. NEWSFLASH: They don’t. (But I hear there’s a Long John’s.)

Nick Cannon is a giant sack of dumb. Apparently, he agreed not to have sex with Mariah Carey until after they were married which is unbelievably retarded. Nothing like going to your honeymoon suite to find out your wife has a penis, and you didn’t sign a pre-nup. Might as well start writing those alimony checks out to “Frank” and save yourself the rush. The Daily Mirror reports:

But Mariah says hanging on for that two months from when they met in February to when they tied the knot in the Bahamas in April was well worth it.
She adds: “It’s not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn’t have complete intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings.
“I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Kids, listen up, not having sex before marriage is probably the stupidest idea in the history of man. That’s like not eating your last meal before going to the electric chair because you think they serve lobster tails in the afterlife. NEWSFLASH: They don’t. (But I hear there’s a Long John’s.)

Lynne Spears tell-all book Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World is remarkably jam-packed with action for an evangelical book about parenting. Lynne reveals Britney started knocking back booze at 13 and, with her mom’s help, tricked Justin Timberlake into thinking she was a virgin when really Britney nailed a football player at 14. The best part is: Justin fell for it! Oh, man, these Disney kids are dumb. Although, that could just be the drink. NY Daily News has the details:

Alcohol!:
The pop icon took a liking to booze when she was a 13-year-old Mouseketeer and began experimenting with drugs at 15.

Drugs!
By age 16, Britney’s wild-child behavior stunned her family when she was caught with cocaine and marijuana on a private jet, Lynn Spears claims.

SEX!
She admits she allowed her then 16-year-old daughter to sleep with Timberlake, her Mickey Mouse Club co-star, and went along with the hoax that Britney was a virgin. Lynne Spears reveals Timberlake was misled and that Britney lost her virginity to a Kentwood, La., high school football player.

I’m starting to think the title of the book should’ve been Through the Storm - of Shit that I Created Because I Have the Parenting Skills of a Lawnmower. I mean, Christ, what was the point of this thing? Other than to surprise us all that Britney hasn’t stripped naked and hijacked a school bus yet. That was the point? Well then, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

David Duchovny’s checked into rehab last week to seek treatment for sex addiction. Rumors were circulating that he had an affair with his tennis instructor because apparently people believe celebrities are characters in Dallas. A close friend of Mulder’s set the record straight that it’s a bad case of porn addiction. FOX News reports:

Alas, it isn’t so, says a close friend. Duchovny did not check in because of an extramarital fling. That much the friend is certain of. Even more so: Duchovny’s problem has been longstanding. His wife, Tea Leoni, was aware of it for some time. It had just reached a point where it had to be treated.
I have inferred from my conversation with Duchovny’s friend that this has something to do with an addiction to pornography, probably on the internet. It’s the sex equivalent of a gambling addiction, where the person is just hopelessly trapped in chat rooms.

Wait. There’s porn on the Internet? …. Hold my calls.

I’m starting to understand Matthew McConaughey a whole lot more after finding about his mom Kay McConaughey’s book. Entilted “I Amaze Myself” the memoir contains anecdotes about Matthew’s conception and his father dying during sex. I wish I was making this up. Us Weekly reports:

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”
And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff.
“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.

Awesome. So, Matthew McConaughey’s dad’s final moments were spent having Viagra-induced old people sex followed by EMTs staring at his naked cock. Oh yeah, sign me up for that. Here I was going to die young in a bank vault full of strippers and go-karts. Clearly, I have no idea how to live. I forgot the part where people look at my old dead nuts. So stupid….

Filed under: Robots

Remember when you were a kid and you told your friends that you totally loved your new computer, and some little luddite looked at you and said, “So why don’t you marry it?” There was that brief moment when you thought your Commodore 64 could, in fact, make a nice spouse. If not, move along. If so, David Levy told participants at a conference last week that we would all be having loving relationships with robots by 2050, not just trysts in Massachussetts. He predicts that we’ll have robots as sex toys within five years and true, deep relationships later on. Some robots already kiss, some seem to hate, but Levy says we’ll have emotional relationships based on conversation by mid-century. Until that time, remember your C64, your first true love. She / she remembers you, you selfish jerk.

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Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong were caught leaving his Manhattan apartment yesterday. I think the look on Kate’s face says it all: “Could’ve used more testicle.”

Kevin Federline’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan paid a visit to this morning’s The Today Show where he elaborated on Britney’s new custody situation. He also dodged around questions of Britney and Kevin getting ready to make some more Cheetos porn. (Fingers crossed!) Here’s the details via People:

“If you’re going to have two parents participate in the lives of raising their children,” said Kaplan, “there has to be some camaraderie between them for that to be a meaningful expectation and reality.”
But are things better between the ex-husband and wife?
“When you go from where things were, when there was no visitation, to where they are now,” said Kaplan, “there will be some contact … there’d be some ability to exchange a camaraderie that is necessary and a function of co-parenting together.”

Britney and Kevin are definitely getting along - all the way to PhoneSexBurg! A source for Star says Kev and Brit go at it AT&T-style once a week:

While they initially chatted about their boys — Preston, 2, and Jayden, 20 months — the conversation shifted. And as Britney hoped, Kevin knew exactly how to tire her out — with hours of erotic talk!
“They have phone sex often — at least once a week,” an insider tells Star. “The one thing those two have in common is their need for sex, and after they get going, there are no holds barred.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I fully support Kevin and Britney doing it over the phone. Wanna know why? No chance of pregnancy - I think. Hold on, let me call this girl I had phone sex with once. *beep boo bop boo beep* Hey, how are you? Long time no phone sex. Say, you don’t have any kids do you? Uh huh. Your lawyer is tracing this call? Back child support, you say? Uh huh. Well, I had no idea my sperm was that strong. Uh huh. I tried putting a condom on the phone but you sounded like Darth Vader! Okay, tell you what. I’ll get my checkbook and do the honorable thing. Just, uh, give me a sec here.. *runs to Mexico*

Han Solo and Princess Leia knocked space boots - for real! Apparently, Harrison Ford got a hold of Carrie Fisher’s cinnamon buns and gave her a bit of The Force during the making of the first Star Wars film. Here’s what Carrie revealed on an upcoming British TV special, according to The Sun:

“I went on the film saying ‘I’m going to have an affair’, like it was a kiwi, an exotic fruit — because I’d never had one!” She adds: “I had a crush on Harrison for sure. Harrison is great fun when he’s had a few drinks.”
Shaking her head and saying: “I’m going to get in so much trouble,” she adds: “Once I left the room and came back and he was in the closet not wearing a lot of clothes.”

For all you Star Wars geeks out there, this means that Harrison and Carrie had what grown-ups call “a special hug.” You see, when a man loves a woman, or drinks enough gin, he feels the urge to put his penis into her vagina. Okay, I lost you didn’t I? Um, alright, got it: The man wants to put his “lightsaber” into a woman’s “Sarlacc pit.” But, don’t worry; there’re no tentacles or giant teeth. Well, sometimes. That’s where the gin comes in handy…

The recently freed Amy Winehouse (Yep, the cops just warned her to keep her face to herself) apparently has another addiction besides booze, blow, popsicles, magazines, McDonald’s french fries, ballet slippers and smoking crack with cats. Our girl Amy likes to do it. A lot. I’ll give you a minute to quickly clear your thoughts and think about something less gross. Like witnessing natural child birth. Anyway, Amy hasn’t exactly been the faithful wife and is somehow managing to find live men willing to see her naked, according to The Sun:

The friend said: “It’s funny how she bedded the last two people who have been helping to look after her. Amy is sex-mad — and she gets what she wants.”
The Sun revealed on Saturday how Amy plans to divorce hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL — who is behind bars on remand on assault and trial fixing charges. But she had been unable to face telling the junkie about her affair with ALEX HAINES — her manager’s aide. A source said yesterday: “In all honesty they think The Sun has done them a favour. It was getting harder to keep the affair under wraps.”

Surprisingly, this morning People is corroborated The Sun’s story that Amy and Blake are eventually headed towards Splitsville. Trust me, I guarantee nobody’s more stunned than the folks at the The Sun:

“It is a tough situation,” the insider added, responding to British reports of the union’s demise. “[I] don’t think that anyone who knows them and cares about them doesn’t have an opinion about why they should [split], but it’s not happening now.”

So, basically, if you run into a drunk Amy Winehouse you’re faced with either two outcomes: Get headbutted in the face or have sex with her. If it were me, I’d go for Secret Option #3: Hand Amy a knife and tell her there’s a balloon full of coke in my belly. Then I’ll simply walk away after she completely misses and stabs a parking meter - across the street.

Alessandro Di Nunzio is revealing the intimate secrets about his night with Lindsay Lohan in Capri. Allesandro was the first man Lindsay hooked up upon arriving in Italy. As Allesandro later found out, he would be the first of three men that entered fire pants within 24 hours. Here’s what he told News of the World:

On Lindsay’s bedroom skills:
“Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position. She was extremely flexible and adventurous. Naked, she took my breath away. Lindsay is stunning. Her body is absolutely perfect. Flawless. She had an all-over golden tan and a few tattoos. On her right wrist was the word Breathe. She joked it was to remind her to keep breathing. That made me think she was pretty fragile.”

On the day after:
That afternoon, when he was in Rome, she sent him the first of several messages. She wanted to spend New Year’s Eve in the city and asked him to show her around.
But she failed to turn up, saying she had a sprained ankle.

On finding out her “sprained ankle” was an excuse:
“I was hurt and sad when I found out about the other guys. I think that’s the way things are with Lindsay. But she was very sweet and loving in bed. It was a good sex match.”

After learning Lindsay’s vagina is a 24/7 convenience store, I’m hoping Alessandro was “hurt and sad” because he was smart enough to buy a pack of Brillo pads and frantically use them on his nuts. It’s an old Indian trick I picked up at a reservation casino. Thanks for the tip, Puts Wiener Anywhere. You truly are a spirit guide.

Filed under: Robots

Having read the title above, we ask you: how do you feel? Titillated at the prospect or fearful for the little babies? Either way, if artificial intelligence researcher David Levy of the University of Maastricht is to be believed, we’ll be consummating relationships with our anatomically correct Roombas by mid-century. Ironically, even though the city of Maastricht sits in free-livin’ Netherlands, Levy predicts that Massachusetts will be first to legalize human-robot marriage due to its liberal attitude toward same-sex marriages. He envisions those early man-machine marriages falling victim to the same cultural taboos affecting interracial marriages. However, just as those are accepted over time, so will committed robot-hookups be seen as “normal” as the practice becomes more common. According to Levy, “once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon.” Here that Digg users? The cure to nerdonic-celibacy is all up to you. Still, 2050? Not likely… just like those Disney inspired space-age dreams of Tomorrowland, technology never progresses quite as rapidly as we think, or even uh, would like it to.

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Office Depot Featured Gadget: Xbox 360 Platinum System Packs the power to bring games to life!

Thong Girl is still my #1 pic from Google Street View. (Images)

If I was a millionaire…

I would pay for a massive campaign to hold a contest to see who can find, if not create themselves, the funniest, most wacky Google Street View image.

The Google Street View feature raises some interesting, and scary, privacy issues. So far there are only a few major U.S. cities enabled with the technology for panoramic views of streets.

Mashable.com has released, in their opinion, the top 15 Street View sightings so far. I’m sure there will be many more to come, and they probably would have put the thong girl first if they had known about her when this list was made.

You can check out all kinds of great pictures from Google Street View Sightings.

Here is Mashable’s top 15: Read the rest of this entry »

If I was a millionaire…

I would buy Pamela Anderson some smaller breasts so that she could actually run around and perform on stage easier.

It apppears as though Anderson will be starring in a Las Vegas play called “The Beauty of Magic” for the next three months.  Of course they just have her running around in the same bathing suit as “Bay Watch” but it has a guy named Hans Klok performing magic, so you know it has to be good.

Last night was opening night.