Shauna Sand once again exhibited unbridled elegance by busting out the clear stripper heels for another family outing yesterday. This time she went to the same Pumpkin Patch as Britney Spears where there were either some paparazzi left over or Shauna called ahead. I’m going with the latter judging by the shameless smiling, and shit, it’s Shauna Sand. Who’s probably the first person in the world to hear “Ma’am, Britney Spears managed to contain her cooch during her visit - and she’s legally retarded. May we offer you some overalls?”

Shauna Sand flashed her panties for the second time this week while getting out of her car at Katsuya. Someone needs to explain to Shauna this is only hot for celebrities who aren’t on the cusp of menopause. So, unless she has a machine that can reverse the effects of time or turn me into Lorenzo Lamas, seriously, cut that shit out. In the meantime, I like how she’s getting hit on by Marilyn Manson’s kid brother “Howie.”

SHAUNA: Go away.
HOWIE: My mom gave me twenty bucks.
SHAUNA: I immediately find you attractive.

Shauna Sand flashed her panties before arriving at Sunset One last night in a see-through outfit. Jesus. The only thing missing from these pics is Shauna having sex with a midget on top of a horse. Then again, it wasn’t a special occasion, so it looks like we’ll have to wait for Columbus Day. Aw, no fair…

NOTE: Pic links to potentially NSFW version because, without consulting a gynecologist, I can’t tell if that’s labia, or Shauna Sand is smuggling deli meat. It’s a toss-up.

In this day age, some might say the ideas of poise, elegance and class no longer exist.

“Not so,” says Shauna Sand. “Not so. …. Lap dance?”

You’d think being a former Playboy model and ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas would’ve rocketed Shauna Sand to a level of fame not yet seen heretofore. Sadly, that’s not the case. Shauna’s forced to wear see-through clothing for attention which caused this writer to look up her Wikipedia bio and figure out who the hell she was. Fun fact: Shauna got a Bachelor of Arts in International Business Administration from The American University of Paris. Nothing about this woman says college education, but yet here it is. And the Interweb don’t lie. That said, has anyone seen my Bat-copter? It’s the one with supermodels hanging from the propellers. Don’t worry, they’ve got helmets.