- Tina Fey & Alec Baldwin have started openly feuding on the set of 30 Rock. In related news, I just settled a bet with myself to see if I could post the most boring gossip item ever. I win! [Star]

- Heidi & Spencer’s now admittedly fake courthouse wedding was an elaborate ploy to promote their upcoming real wedding. It’s almost like somebody wrote these events down on pieces of paper and provided lines for those involved to say at the appropriate time. I think there’s a word for that: Bullshit. [E! Online]

- Michael Jackson is not in dire need of a lung transplant. Unless it’s at a children’s hospital, then he’ll take two. [Us]

- Kate Winslet’s husband director Sam Mendes had a hard time watching filming her love scenes with Leonardo DiCaprio in Revolutionary Road. Apparently, the actor kept banging her head against the kitchen cabinets. So, wait there’s something wrong with that? I should probably write this down. “Easy on cabinetry. Egg beater still kosher…” [Page Six]

Tina Fey is standing by her Sarah Palin impressions and claims they weren’t mean-spirited. In an interview with Barbara Walters, Tina defends her portrayal of the sassy Alaska governor who either captivated your heart or frightened the living piss out of of you. Hollyscoop reports:

Voted one of Barbara Walters “10 Most Fascinating People of 2008,” Tina told Babs: “I never did feel that we were mean to her. We stuck to a lot of things that she herself had said, and I think there is a very strange double standard because it’s a woman portraying another woman. The jokes we used to do about George W. Bush were that he was an idiot. The jokes were aggressive. No one would ever stop and say, ‘Oh, that seems kind of mean.’ “

“A very strange double standard because it’s a woman.” Oh, boy, here we go. It’s 2008, Tina, not the 1970s. Men and women are completely equal now. In fact, once my secretary brings her sweet tush in here with my coffee, I’ll gladly bring you up to speed.

Tina Fey is standing by her Sarah Palin impressions and claims they weren’t mean-spirited. In an interview with Barbara Walters, Tina defends her portrayal of the sassy Alaska governor who either captivated your heart or frightened the living piss out of of you. Hollyscoop reports:

Voted one of Barbara Walters “10 Most Fascinating People of 2008,” Tina told Babs: “I never did feel that we were mean to her. We stuck to a lot of things that she herself had said, and I think there is a very strange double standard because it’s a woman portraying another woman. The jokes we used to do about George W. Bush were that he was an idiot. The jokes were aggressive. No one would ever stop and say, ‘Oh, that seems kind of mean.’ “

“A very strange double standard because it’s a woman.” Oh, boy, here we go. It’s 2008, Tina, not the 1970s. Men and women are completely equal now. In fact, once my secretary brings her sweet tush in here with my coffee, I’ll bring you up to speed.

UPDATE: The AP is reporting Tina Fey’s husband has revealed how she got her scar. Apparently, a stranger walked up to her when she was five and slashed her face while she was playing outside. Jesus Christ! Tina never wanted to talk about it for fear of exploiting the situation. Wow. And she’s absolutely right, because knowing this, Tina Fey could do an impression of me where I’m a transsexual dolphin, and I’d laugh and go “That’s so me! That is sooo me.”

Before we dive into today’s posting, did everyone remember to set your clock backs? If you didn’t, congratulations, you can smoke/drink/pray to the Baby Jesus your face off for another hour because you’re ahead of the game!
The Superficial: We’re Like a Freakin’ National Treasure Over Here.

Senator John McCain stopped by Saturday Night Live last night and has to know he lost this thing. He did a QVC infomercial with Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin and this sketch had everything: Joe Biden, William Ayers, Cindy McCain (The real one!) and the infamous “Rogue Sarah.” Give it a watch then try not to build a time machine so you can jump ahead to Wednesday before you jab yourself in the eye with a lapel pin. In the meantime, I need to see a man about a flux capacitor.

UPDATE: It was a shoe. Never trust the homeless.

It’s Friday, so here’s Will Ferrell reprising his classic George W. Bush role alongside Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin on last night’s Primetime Edition of Saturday Night Live. I’m pretty sure something historic just happened here, but then again, I think it’s historic whenever I pour chocolate milk on my Cocoa Krispies. And, on that note, excuse me while I vibrate over to the men’s room to have a sugar-induced panic attack. Whee!

Tina Fey has been thrust into the political spotlight this election year ever since John McCain picked her Alaskan doppelganger Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Initially, Tina didn’t see the resemblance but now wishes the two looked more alike, according to the latest issue of TV Guide:

“When I first saw her, I didn’t think we looked alike at all. Then during the convention, I started to think, ‘Ok, maybe a little.’
“I’ll tell you, that lady is five times better-looking than I am. She’s 44? She’s got none of that droopy s–t. She’s keeping it tight!”

And that’s an endorsement. Quick, somebody slap that shit on a bumper sticker: “Sarah Palin: 1 out of 1 liberal comedians that look like her agree: ‘She’s tight like prom night.’ McCain/Palin ‘08. AWWW YEAH!“

Sarah Palin made her highly-publicized Saturday Night Live appearance and, honestly, didn’t do a whole lot. I expected some pizazz, you know? She’s the fucking Ron Burgundy of politics. C’mon! If it’s in front of her, she’ll say it in that folksy voice of hers that makes you wonder how long Alaska’s been a town in Wisconsin. Instead, what do we get? Sarah Palin standing around while Alec Baldwin pretends to think she’s Tina Fey. LAME. Okay, maybe, I’m overreacting a bit because I was convinced Sarah and Tina were going to make-out in Stars N’ Stripes bikinis. Such imagery would’ve brought our divided nation together towards a common goal. I dunno what exactly that goal would be, but I guarantee there’d be nachos and strippers there. Ooh, and mini golf. Who doesn’t love that shit? (Hint: Terrorists.)

Bonus Mark Wahlberg cameo after the jump.

It’s official: Sarah Palin is doing Saturday Night Live. The McCain campaign confirmed the Alaska Governor will make a guest appearance on this weekend’s show with host Josh Brolin. For the past few weeks, Tina Fey has been doing an uncanny impersonation of Sarah Palin which the governor was taking in stride but might not be digging so much these days a gee golly don’tcha know. People reports:

It was hard to tell whether the Palins are still laughing along with Fey. When a reporter noted that Fey plays the vice presidential candidate as bubble-headed, Sarah retorted: “That’s funny, I kind of play her bubble-headed, too, when I imitate her.”
Chimes in husband Todd Palin about his wife: “She’s been impersonating Tina Fey longer than Tina Fey’s been doing Sarah Palin.”

Oh my god, a husband and wife comedy team. Hilarious! *puts gun in mouth*

What if Sarah Palin played Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin playing Tina Fey? My answer: The universe would collapse on itself with a quiet “We’re mavericks, don’tcha know.” But, apparently, the folks over at NBC and the McCain campaign aren’t concerned with the very fabric of our existence, according to the Chicago Sun-Times:

Some key McCain staffers are content with Palin joking about the “SNL” routines on the campaign trail — as when she scribbled “I’m not Tina Fey” on a supporter’s cell phone and said she’d dressed as Fey on Halloween. But others — including the governor herself — think a return punch on the NBC airwaves is what’s needed.

My political beliefs aside, I’ll admit it’d be a good show. Because if the debates taught us anything, it’s that Sarah Palin is awesome at memorizing words she doesn’t know the meaning of - like “vice-president.” Hi-YO! I’ll be in the Catskills all week, folks. Try the veal.

EDIT: Moved the SNL debate video after the jump.

Somebody dug Chevy Chase out of the grave for the sole purpose of putting him on MSNBC’s Morning Joe to comment on Tina Fey’s depiction of Sarah Palin. Here’s what he had to say:

“I thought it was extraordinary how well she played her and much she looked like her, I’d like her, personally I felt we didn’t need the Hillary stuff, I’d like her to go even harder. I want her to decimate this woman. This woman, I can’t believe there hasn’t been more about it… It’s just unbelievable to me this woman is actually running for vice president.”

Jesus, I guess every “celebrity” is going to get a chance to sound off about Sarah Palin. If that’s the case, I look forward to Wilford Brimley’s insightful commentary: “Say, is that a dame arguing with a colored boy? No wonder my oatmeal’s not ready yet. I’m taking a nap. Don’t touch my mustache!”

Tina Fey did the obvious this weekend and portrayed Alaska Governor Sarah Palin during the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. While this sketch lacks the awesomeness of Gina Gershon in a bikini, it does contain a powerful message. And that message is: I’d do things to Tina Fey. Although, technically, that means I’d do things to Sarah Palin, but her refusal to use any form of contraception nullifies such an arrangement. Unless, of course, she lets me “shoot my own moose.” I have no idea what that means, but I bet it’s a great euphemism for “Hey, I don’t remember Jesus saying anything about child support.”