Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are officially reconciled and living together. Tommy revealed the news to Rolling Stone, but only because he thought they were a really cool pineapple with a tape recorder:

“Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,” said a beaming Tommy Lee. “It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together. We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go.”

After the interview ended, Tommy Lee proceeded to have sex with 20 hookers while saying “Yeah, man, I just really hope things work out. For the kids. I mean, I think I’m on the right trac- Holy shit, what am I doing? This isn’t right. I specifically ordered these chicks with flasks of JD around their necks. I can’t stressalize how muy mondo importante good customer service is, bro-seph. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell I just said either.”

Attention, everyone! Pamela Anderson’s breasts are still ridiculously large. You’re welcome. Oh yeah, she also hung out with Tommy Lee yesterday and bought some plants. I don’t know what that means, but I bet it involves doing it in a pile of a mulch. How else do you landscape? Ha ha, with a mower. Now you’re just making shit up.

EDIT: Moved this to the top of the page because, well, breasts. I think I’ve made my point.

Attention, everyone! Pamela Anderson’s breasts are still ridiculously large. You’re welcome. Oh yeah, she also hung out with Tommy Lee yesterday and bought some plants. I don’t know what that means, but I bet it involves doing it in a pile of a mulch. How else do you landscape? Ha ha, with a mower. Now you’re just making shit up.

I know what you’re thinking: “Two Pamela Anderson posts in one day? Is it my birthday?” No, and you were an accident. It’s just proof that I know how to journal the ism like Gamera on crack. Here’s photos of Pamela Anderson spending Easter with her ex Tommy Lee and their son who has a name, but who cares, my God look at that rack. I dunno if Pamela is wearing a towel or a sheet or what, but I’m campaigning to make it illegal for her to wear anything else. This will be my most eloquent and persuasive prose yet. It’s going to take all my cunning to pull this off. Here goes:

Dear Congressman,

BOOBS! OMFG BOOBS!1

Sincerely,

The Superficial Writer

NOTE: Swish! Nailed it.

If I was a millionaire…

I would pay someone to beat up Kid Rock and Tommy Lee cause they are both idiots!

Last night at the MTV Awards Kid Rock rocked Tommy Lee while Alicia Keys was performing. Supposedly Kid punched Tommy after witnesses say that Tommy was bugging Kid throughout the night.

Security broke the two up and then threw them out. Kid was later let back into the awards, however, police caught up with him and he was cited a misdemeanor battery.

It’s obvious that this is still over Pamela Anderson. What a bunch of immature children these two are!