Filed under: Misc. Gadgets, Peripherals

We all know the holiday season is coming up, but even if you’re on the hunt for a gag gift for your fav-o-rite prankster, we can’t not recommend the following turds enough. Up first is the absolutely unbelievable Night Sweat Alarm watch, which actually wakes you up if it detects that you’re perspiring. Why? Legend has it that no one knows. Moving on, we’ve got the USB Volcano — a perfect mix of your first-grade science project and your college-era infatuation with all things USB. Things start to get really absurd when viewing the self-explanatory Glass of Milk Light and the Retro Handy Handset, but even those are potentially topped in stupidity by the Air Flow Mouse and cake-shaped USB drives. Have a look at each below before casting your vote, but keep that barf bag handy.

Read - Sweat Alarm watch
Read - USB Volcano
Read - Glass of Milk Light
Read - Retro Handy Handset
Read - Air Flow Mouse
Read - Cake-shaped USB drive

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Filed under: Displays, Wearables

When Liquavista announced its electrowetting segment-driven display technology way back when, we thought it sounded like just about the best thing ever. We definitely wanted PMP, cellphone, and watch displays with rapid response time, exceptional contrast, and a high volume of color. Fast forward two years: word is this stuff is finally ready to hit the market and designers can now order custom-made equipment for their devices. There’s an animation on Liquavista’s website that promises some radically hip stuff, and we’re looking forward to that, but so far we feel a bit let down by these images of mostly-static watches whose main claim to fame is colors. Get crackin’, designers: we want to see those sunlight-viewable video displays and hip-hoppin’ PMP visualizers in the non-cartoon world ASAP.

[Via core77]

Read - Press release
Read - Official website with demo animation

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Filed under: Misc. Gadgets

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Filed under: Transportation, Wearables

You know that Aston Martin DBS not sitting in your driveway? Here’s the watch to not go with it, the €27,500 (more than $40,000) Jaeger LeCoultre AMVOX2 DBS Transponder. First spotted last year, the Swiss timepiece capable of locking and unlocking the DBS from a distance of 10-meters has had a rough time making the transponder reliable due to the mechanical watch’s impact on electrical fields — a Faraday Cage of sorts. The solution was to craft a 128-mm sapphire and metal antenna inserted into the curve of the inner bezel ring. Man servants and gold diggers will find the watch at fine retail shops sometime around December.

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Filed under: Wearables

Automatic movement? Sweeping hands? Pish posh. Casio’s looking to impress a few watch aficionados itself with the all new Tough Movement. Designed to slip inside its Oceanus and G-Shock series of timepieces, the new movement “features a high shock resistance and a hand position correction function using LED.” During the 55th minute of each hour, the movement receives time calibration signals from six bases located throughout the world; if the hands are off at all, it automatically corrects things to ensure that you’re never a moment off. Reportedly, the first wristwatch to utilize the technology will be the GS-1200, which is currently slated to hit Japan this September for a stiff ¥42,000 ($390).

[Via OhGizmo]

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Filed under: Misc. Gadgets

You know what’s lamer than the thought of just how close 7:00AM on a Monday morning is from now? These five gadgets. Things are really neck-and-neck in this edition of the world’s poorest attempts in the consumer electronics space, with everything from a brick-colored satellite dish cover (is drunk designing the new drunk dialing?), a ladybug-shaped multicard reader and a carpal tunnel-inducing aircraft mouse. Oh, and lest we forget the “Big Time” watch table and cellphone wristband, both of which are also very worth candidates for this round’s most pitiful. Give each a look below, and after you’re through chuckling / vomiting, exercise your right to vote on the best (worst?) below.

Read - Brick-colored dish cover
Read - Ladybug multicard reader
Read - USB aircraft mouse
Read - Giant watch table
Read - Gadget wristband

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Filed under: Wearables

It’s true. Any decent mother would wonder what on Earth her child was thinking rocking that thing you see above, and even though all those wonderful ladies of the world would be entirely entitled to that curiosity, we can understand the obsession. On its surface, this timepiece and its cryptic display is unquestionably ugly — even the “stainless steel” band reeks of cereal box quality. But there’s just something about those flashy lights that stirs the soul of nerds everywhere, making it seem quite the bargain at $132.85. It’s okay, we won’t tell mommy.

[Via BoingBoing]

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Filed under: Misc. Gadgets

Consider yourselves fortunate. You’ve had well over two whole months without an episode of Crapgadget, but today, that grace period ends. The most recent laughable load includes an absolutely vile wristwatch that supposedly plays MP3s / MP4s if you can manage to glance away from the bezel and band. Furthermore, we’ve got a TV tuner and webcam — in one — alongside a way-too-expensive WiFi sniffing pen that doesn’t do 802.11n. Bringing up the rear is Connectland’s 180° X2 Revolving USB Hub, which clearly raises the bar in USB hub design stupidity. Per usual, we’re begging for your vote on the crappiest below, but we’ll understand if you just can’t bear the thought of spending another moment thinking about these pitiful creations.

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Filed under: Gaming, Wearables

Need some way to express your adoration for Solid Snake when not inside the house? Then check out this limited edition piece, would you? The Metal Gear Solid 4 watch will reportedly arrive individually numbered from 1 to 500 alongside a “Konami certificate of authenticity approved by Hideo Kojima.” You’ll also get a nifty gift box to hold the water resistant timepiece in when it’s not flanking your wrist, but only if you manage to score one before the legions of other hardcore fans do. Oddly enough, there’s some sort of “pre-order” going on in the read link below, but we wouldn’t count on that being the most reliable method for procuring the £99.99 ($197) device when it’s released in October.

[Via TechDigest]

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Filed under: Cellphones, Wearables

Due to exceptionally poor machine translation from the Finnish language (what gives, Google?), we really don’t know a whole heck of a lot about Wearfone’s admittedly stylish watch phone. Reportedly, similar devices have been around the concept block, but a trio of investors are hoping to actually get this one on store shelves by the year’s end. Thanks to our super-scientific methods of deciphering, we’ve determined that it will boast a touchscreen display, GSM connectivity and the ability to send / receive calls and text messages. Early reports pin the price at anywhere between €500 ($776) and €1,000 ($1,553), but that’s the price you pay for having a technologically advanced timepiece that won’t get you tarred and feathered in public.

[Thanks, Petteri]

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Filed under: Cellphones, Wearables

Generally speaking, watch phones are rarely useful. Not so much because of lackluster hardware or incompatible drivers, but due to the fact that no one with any dignity will ever be caught wearing one. The CECT Wrist, however, actually isn’t a ghastly looking device at all, and although it’s far from being a Sea-Dweller, we can’t help but give props for the semi-stylish design. Specs wise, the unit boasts GSM connectivity, a 1.3-inch color LCD, FM radio tuner, multimedia player, 1.3-megapixel camera, handsfree support (Bluetooth) and a battery good for 150 minutes of continuous yappin’. Not too terribly shabby for £150.13 ($293), wouldn’t you agree?

[Via GizmoScene, thanks KC Kim]

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Filed under: GPS, Wearables

To be fair, we haven’t really noticed a GPS watch that wasn’t at least somewhat unsightly, but the Sport Genius Watch Tracker does a phenomenal job at exemplifying ugly. Reportedly, the conglomerate not only tells time, but the built-in GSM / GPS modules enable it to make and receive calls, track your movements and beam out your current location via SMS in case you find yourself in a pickle. It also provides the means for logging runs and points of interest, and you can supposedly upload the data to mapping software to get a visual on what you accomplished. Word on the street has it that this particular wristwatch should be available on the streets of China right now, but there’s no telling how many yuan you’ll be asked to fork over in order to publicly humiliate yourself.

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Filed under: Wearables

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Filed under: Wireless

Now that most smartphones worth having sport WiFi, the need for wireless finders has dwindled somewhat, but we’ll still give credit to the designers of this WiFi-detecting watch for cleverness. That’s not to say we’d ever recommend wearing this this fashion disaster — check out that “WiFi” button on the bezel — but if you’re on a mission to consolidate your gear and you don’t mind the mocking laughter of others, £20 ($39) is all it takes.

[Via digital-lifestyles]

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Filed under: Wearables

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Filed under: Wearables, Wireless

After a long, painful, nearly anonymous ride on the wrists of a select few uber-geeks, Microsoft’s finally throwing in the towel on one of its longstanding pet projects: the SPOT watch. Those who’ve followed the technology recently (you know who you are) already know that the writing’s been on the wall for some time; the applications and content available to the watches haven’t been updated in ages, and indeed, the entire line of Abacus Smart Watch 2006 models — the only type being recently offered — has been discontinued and out of stock for a few months. For what it’s worth, MSN Direct’s program manager is quick to note that the underlying technology most certainly isn’t going away; quite the contrary, in fact, with compatible Garmin and Windows Mobile products still going strong. Though your impetus may have been misguided and your fate sealed from the moment you hit the market, dearest wristwatches, your overwhelming nerdiness will be sorely missed. Oh, and for those of you who plan on sporting your piece of Microsoft history to the very bitter end, take some comfort in knowing that existing content types will continue to be delivered, at least.

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Filed under: Wearables

Like your Rolls-Royce, Louis Vuitton bags, and priceless, endangered animal collection, the Urwerk UR-202 turbine regulated watch is another expensive item you don’t really need. Still… you want it, right? Who wouldn’t want this beast, what with its self-winding kinetic motor, telescopic minute hands, orbiting and revolving hour satellites, and fancy, mechanical turbines that we understand almost nothing about. But hey, when your timepiece is more complicated than a jet plane — and likely more expensive — you’ve probably made it.

[Via OhGizmo!]

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Filed under: Wearables

Calculator watches, a staple of the average’s geek wardrobe since before your grandmother was born, have been called out, as David Jones’ own homegrown version totally trumps anything out there on the pre-fabricated market today. The cleverly-titled µWatch was born after a Casio CFX-400 bit the dust after years upon years of telling time and determining averages, and while it seems as though a bona fide front panel is still in the works, we’re personally hoping that currently unoccupied Design & Construction portal gets updated with a how-to guide. Check out the read link for a few more shots of the early prototype and the current build.

[Via OhGizmo]

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Filed under: Cellphones, Wearables

Ready for some honesty? We can think of a good handful of timepieces that we’d buy before we dropped $629.95 on this catastrophe, but for folks with pants too slim and hands too full to carry around a separate cellphone, we suppose it’s a so-so alternative. The EGP-WP98 claims to be the first quad-band GSM watch phone to come with Windows CE 5.0 installed, and while it’s supposed to tout a SIM card slot, water-resistance, a 266MHz CPU and a 1.45-inch display with handwriting recognition (for real?), that little line informing us that specifications are “subject to change without notice” makes us a touch leery. Nevertheless, you can also expect (though you may not get) a 1.3-megapixel camera, WiFi, a T-Flash expansion slot, multimedia player and built-in Bluetooth. According to one particular e-tailer, it’ll be ready to ship on April 25th — whether or not anyone’s fat-fingered enough to push an order through, however, remains to be seen.

[Via UnwiredView]

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Filed under: Wearables

See, now we’re torn. Do we spend our imaginary rainbow dollars on that Real Crystal LED Watch concept we saw the other day, or do we pretend like we could ever scrap together enough pennies to afford this very really De Grisogono Meccanico DG timepiece? The watch is apparently the first all-mechanical digital watch — no LED trickery here — and is sure to cost a fortune. Only 177 of ‘em are being built.

[Via Sybarites]

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