Christina Aguilera took her breasts out for a walk today while visiting in New York City. Last night she cleverly used infant son Max Liron to ward off paparazzi. I feel sorry for the kid but not because he’s a human shield. The little tyke must sit around all day staring at his parents, thinking “How the hell do I even exist? These two? Intercourse? Ha! I’m adopted. Oh, shit, she’s trying to suffocate me with her chest balloons again. For the last time I’m lactose intoler- help! Oxygen low… Brain cells fading… NASCAR suddenly more interesting….”