After receiving a six-game suspension for publicly calling Elisha Cuthbert “sloppy seconds,” Sean Avery is now officially kicked off the Dallas Stars, according to ESPN:

“All parties said there is a clear understanding that a return to the Stars is not in the best interest of either the hockey club or Avery,” the team said in a news release.
Details of his departure still must be worked out. He could be traded, sent to the minors or bought out next summer. The club said it will work with Avery to try making this an amicable divorce.
However, there’s no telling when Avery will even be ready to play again. He is at an undisclosed location seeking treatment through a program set up by the NHL players association. When he was suspended, Avery told the Stars he needed help dealing with anger issues.

Damn. Apparently, Elisha Cuthbert has some crazy pull over the NHL - or maybe her vagina does, eh? High five!

UPDATE: I’ve just been kicked out of the NHL. Great. Now how am I supposed to shoot a winning slap shot and gain the lusty approval of a lonely Sarah Palin whose husband is away on business because he doesn’t appreciate her new jugs? Curse you, Cuthbert, you dream killer!