We ended yesterday with a set of fake knockers courtesy of Victoria Beckham, so why not start the day with another pair? That’s just smart journalism. This morning’s rack is courtesy of Jenna Jameson Queen of the Duck-people. I’m not saying she had a lot of collagen injected. I’m just saying I could probably set up patio furniture on her upper lip – and an above-ground pool.

Edit: Alright, alright, I may have gotten an estimate for a barbecue pit. It’ll fit nicely by the basketball court and helipad. Or should I put it next to the outdoor amphitheater?