These are images of Katie Holmes as she moved to New York City this week to prepare for her role in the Broadway production of All My Sons. And looking into those eyes, I’ve now seen the depths of crazy. Dammit, she used to be hot! Tom Cruise has gone way, way too far. Someone’s gotta do something about this and I’m looking at you, Beckhams. One of you, David, needs to take one for the team while the other, Victoria, spirits Katie to safety. The double meaning of taking “one for the team” goes without saying because it’s butt sex with Tom Cruise.

UPDATE: I just received the following e-mail from Tom Cruise. Presented here in it’s entirety:

Yeah, all that stuff. The team stuff. Make that stuff happen. I’ll pay you in Tom Cruise dollars. When Xenu is defeated in an intergalactic chariot race by yours truly, my money will be worth money! No foolin’.

Heil me!
T.C.

p.s. I’m smiling right now - Tom Cruise style! (That’s T.C. talk for “pants-free.” He he, I’m naughty!)”

My job is so friggin’ weird…